Yesterday, I attended orientation at the church. I was not thrilled, because of some of the convictions of the church. I was in total agreement with the core beliefs of the church but I do have a problem with two of the three things that the church is against. Fred was on board with everything, so I follow my husband's lead and enjoy my new membership. I guess there is really no way to agree with everything. It brought to my memory why I was not interested in joining 5 years ago.
We went to our first official doctor's visit. I was excited. I knew that they were not going to do anything, but confirm my pregnancy, but I was glad to start a great journey of motherhood...again. They told me that I was about 6 weeks 3 days and that my due date is May 20th. How exciting!
Working out has been at a stand still. The fatigue has gotten the best of me so far. I have not been to the gym this week at all. I have set my alarm, prepared my gym attire every morning, but I just keep on sleeping through the 4:30 am alarm. Maybe next week will be better, something has got to give because I am about to grow out of all of my clothes and I am only about 6weeks and 4 days pregnant. I won't blame all of this on pregnancy. I have not been running like I have been and I have not been eating as strictly as I have been. So with those factors, weight gain is bond to occur. Not going to stress though. Just going to continue to monitor my meals and exercise when I feel like it. I may have to start doing things in the afternoons or at night after work, because in the mornings I feel "blah" and I just haven't been successful at attending my daily workouts in the morning. Boy, I have to find a way to get it together. I don't want to gain too much weight.
On the job stress has almost taken the best of me this week. I had to release an employee do to a decrease in work performance and a lack of interest in growing with the company. It was a difficult decision personally, but an easy decision business wise. Oh well, the life of a business owner. I have a colleague who owns her own business and she told me that the more work and heart you put into your business, the easier it will be to let those go who don't have the best intentions for your business. She was right. My business will continue to grow and so will I.
This weekend we are going to Oxford for a birthday party for Fred's 85 year old aunt. I love surprises. Especially for those who have entered their golden years and are appreciated by their family members before they pass away.
One more work day...I am ready to see what God has for me next week. This week has really been educational....
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Finally A Member
Today, Fred and I joined Brown Missionary Baptist Church in Southaven, MS. We have been visiting on and off for about 5 years. I must admit that I was the reason for the delay. I just wasn't sure 5 years ago. Fred always loved the church. We tried membership at another organization, but it wasn't for us. After over a year of my visiting and enjoying the services (2008-2010), we decided a couple of Sundays ago that we would officially join. Because Fred works on Sundays it has been difficult to coordinate a time in which he could attend one of the three services. He had to leave the house at 4:00am this morning to make it to the 11:30 service on time. So that is what we are going to do: Fred will attend two services per month at 10am or 11:30am which ever one he can. Bug and I will continue to attend the 8am service when Fred can't go and go to the later services when Fred can attend. That is our plan. I guess I need to ask God to show me which ministry is right for me. I need one that I can really commit to being a part of. Now that I have started working a little more, it will be challenging trying to do it all, but God knows my heart and I will do what He leads me to do.
Health wise, I have been feeling pretty good. I still have a strong pull to start my compulsive eating group. I really need to do this. Can I do this while I am pregnant? Will people listen to me? I feel that this is something that I should do. To be honest, I know that I should do it. I am so afraid of what others will think. Will anyone be interested? If they are, will they continue to come. Will the "haters" mess with me and try to stop what I am trying to achieve? Will the attendees take me seriously when I am still over my ideal weight? So many questions and doubts and insecurities. I have never really lead a group like this and definitely not a group that I plan on using scriptures and prayer along with nutritional information. I have to get the courage to step out there. I'll keep praying on it. You pray with me world. I need it.
Off to get ready for a great week this week. I am going on my first prenatal visit. I am so excited.
Health wise, I have been feeling pretty good. I still have a strong pull to start my compulsive eating group. I really need to do this. Can I do this while I am pregnant? Will people listen to me? I feel that this is something that I should do. To be honest, I know that I should do it. I am so afraid of what others will think. Will anyone be interested? If they are, will they continue to come. Will the "haters" mess with me and try to stop what I am trying to achieve? Will the attendees take me seriously when I am still over my ideal weight? So many questions and doubts and insecurities. I have never really lead a group like this and definitely not a group that I plan on using scriptures and prayer along with nutritional information. I have to get the courage to step out there. I'll keep praying on it. You pray with me world. I need it.
Off to get ready for a great week this week. I am going on my first prenatal visit. I am so excited.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Back to the Group; blew a gasket!
This morning, I went to Shelby Farms with the SIMS. I had this weird feeling like I shouldn't be there because I hadn't been there, but it didn't take me long to get over that. The groups have been preparing for St. Jude as well as the other races that we have scheduled for the rest of the year. I didn't do much running this morning. I left my garmin watch, but I think I did about 5 miles. I walked/ran. I was feeling a little "blah". It wasn't nausea or any kind of pain...just "blah". I want to do St. Jude, but if I don't start feeling better soon, I may miss my training opportunity time. I don't have much time before December.
I destroyed the motor in my malibu. I had no idea that I was doing it. A red light came on, while I was driving, but I figured I would tell Fred once I got home. I continued with my day. When I got home, I looked in the manual to discover that the red light was a "low coolant light". My dad said that I should have pulled over immediately once that light first popped on. We had a mechanic to look at it, but the engine is gone. The car is so old that it really isn't worth spending so much money. I love that car. I guess we will have to purchase another one soon because that was how Fred got to work. Oh well..that's life.
I destroyed the motor in my malibu. I had no idea that I was doing it. A red light came on, while I was driving, but I figured I would tell Fred once I got home. I continued with my day. When I got home, I looked in the manual to discover that the red light was a "low coolant light". My dad said that I should have pulled over immediately once that light first popped on. We had a mechanic to look at it, but the engine is gone. The car is so old that it really isn't worth spending so much money. I love that car. I guess we will have to purchase another one soon because that was how Fred got to work. Oh well..that's life.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Women's Run 2010
I completed the women's run 10 minutes faster than I finished last year...and I am pregnant. What an accomplishment! It was an easy run and my gym buddy Cedria finished her first race. Fred and Bug stayed in bed. I didn't make a big deal out of it like I did last year. Fred wanted to go, but I told him not to make a big fuss. He can make a big fuss next year when I finish my first marathon. My cousin enjoyed reading the Roth book and wants me to send the other one. I have to read the one she just read, I haven't finished it. I sent it to her while I was in the midst of completing it, but it was so good that I wanted her to take it. I did finish the one that I am going to send her this weekend and it was so good. I am also continuing to read the Orman book and Fred and I have been on a budget for two weeks. I am not going to put too much into it, but I feel like we have so much better control of things. I want this same control with food too. I think all things are about to become more balanced.
Anyway, I have been feeling well. I have gained weight as you can tell from my pictures, but I am still in great shape. Things have been a little stressful at home and at work. I started a PRN job to make extra money for the time that I am going to be off work. I think this is a smart thing to do since I am the main therapist at this time for my business. Things are really working out thought. God is so good and opening so many doors for me, my family and my business.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
From Bad to Good
This week started out pretty rough. I mean, I was stressed to the max. The situation with the new girls and their placement. I realized that that situation is out of my hands and after I attended the meeting Tuesday, I realized that I am a small fish in a big pond, so that contract will not be good for my company at this time. As we realized that this contract was not good for us, God gave us another opportunity. Yes! So we will be making a difference in a lot of children's lives.
What was the lesson this week. I don't know. I did the best that I could and was always honest with everyone from day one...so....it is what it is.... I will definitely be more knowledgeable next time. I know now what specific questions I need to ask. I know now who I really need to consult with and what I need to ask. I know now to move much, much slower. I know now to learn as much as I can about the organizations and programs that you deal with and the people that are in charge. I was mad at God for the way things turned out, but He is only protecting me and the company from a lot of heartache and disappointment. I hated the way things went, but a lesson...a valuable lesson was learned.
So, I was saying that a good opportunity opened up. I have my employees in place so my caseload is lighter. I will be able to find a little PRN or part-time job to save up for the baby. Isn't that good news. I want to stay off with him or her as long as possible so that means that I need to start saving about 3-4 months worth of "bills" money.
This week. I worked out three times. I didn't go today because I had a meeting and had to prepare for it. So when I woke up at 4:30am, I headed straight to my office and used my workout time to prepare for my meeting. I think that is okay. I haven't been so hard on myself for a while.
I need to get in contact with the SIM group. I have not attended a run in over a month. I have been so consumed with so many changes that I haven't met with the group or gotten any updates on what is going on. I'll find out.
I have a 5k Saturday, then I am going to attend the Family Picnic at the church. We may join this week. I am ready to. Fred has been ready since the first day he attended that church. I wasn't at the time. But it is funny how God shows you what you need and then after you think you don't need it, He still is so merciful that He gives you another opportunity to get what you need ....He did that when I met Fred. We met a year before we started dating. God reunited us after one meeting a year before. I guess God was just letting me know who my husband was going to be. And when we reunited, we have never missed a day of talking to each other in eleven years. I met my best friend and didn't realize it and God gave brought him around again...full circle.
About the Baby, we are doing great. I have been feeling 'funny' but no nausea this week. I feel pretty good. A little tired at the end of the day, but nothing major. I am so excited about my new sweetpea. I can't wait to meet him or her. Fred thinks that it is a girl. I don't know. I don't have a 'hunch" yet. Fred was right last time so he may have the inside track this time. I only have about 8 months to go.
What a good week :-)
What was the lesson this week. I don't know. I did the best that I could and was always honest with everyone from day one...so....it is what it is.... I will definitely be more knowledgeable next time. I know now what specific questions I need to ask. I know now who I really need to consult with and what I need to ask. I know now to move much, much slower. I know now to learn as much as I can about the organizations and programs that you deal with and the people that are in charge. I was mad at God for the way things turned out, but He is only protecting me and the company from a lot of heartache and disappointment. I hated the way things went, but a lesson...a valuable lesson was learned.
So, I was saying that a good opportunity opened up. I have my employees in place so my caseload is lighter. I will be able to find a little PRN or part-time job to save up for the baby. Isn't that good news. I want to stay off with him or her as long as possible so that means that I need to start saving about 3-4 months worth of "bills" money.
This week. I worked out three times. I didn't go today because I had a meeting and had to prepare for it. So when I woke up at 4:30am, I headed straight to my office and used my workout time to prepare for my meeting. I think that is okay. I haven't been so hard on myself for a while.
I need to get in contact with the SIM group. I have not attended a run in over a month. I have been so consumed with so many changes that I haven't met with the group or gotten any updates on what is going on. I'll find out.
I have a 5k Saturday, then I am going to attend the Family Picnic at the church. We may join this week. I am ready to. Fred has been ready since the first day he attended that church. I wasn't at the time. But it is funny how God shows you what you need and then after you think you don't need it, He still is so merciful that He gives you another opportunity to get what you need ....He did that when I met Fred. We met a year before we started dating. God reunited us after one meeting a year before. I guess God was just letting me know who my husband was going to be. And when we reunited, we have never missed a day of talking to each other in eleven years. I met my best friend and didn't realize it and God gave brought him around again...full circle.
About the Baby, we are doing great. I have been feeling 'funny' but no nausea this week. I feel pretty good. A little tired at the end of the day, but nothing major. I am so excited about my new sweetpea. I can't wait to meet him or her. Fred thinks that it is a girl. I don't know. I don't have a 'hunch" yet. Fred was right last time so he may have the inside track this time. I only have about 8 months to go.
What a good week :-)
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Bug or is it??? Today the whole, now, me
Hello World,
Bug got sick this morning, so I was unable to go to church. I was a little disappointed, but I know his health is the important thing. It was that same type of sickness that he had for two weeks. It only lasted for about two hours today, but he threw up about 10 times. I am wondering if he needs to be seen by a gastrointorologist or however you spell it (the stomach doctor). I am starting to think that this is not just a stomach bug. I hope it is nothing too serious. Some good news about Bug. He is fully potty trained in only two weeks. Can you believe it! All it took was the daycare moving him to the room with the older kiddos. The peer pressure pushed him right into "potty" mode. Now he will ask to go or either go on his own. I am so proud of him. I know he is not one of your early potty trained kids, but at least he did it before three years old and that was my goal.
Speaking of stomach, last week was tough. The nausea was to the max. I even had headaches. I worked out three times last week. I only ran two miles last Monday. I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING LIKE IT. I have been feeling yucky and extremely tired. Once I get home from work, I am out. I have gone to sleep every night last week without even knowing it. My husband has had to wake me up and tell me to go to bed. So I have to give myself and 'F' for effort for last week :-( To top it all off, I ate whatever I wanted. This is going to be more challenging than I thought.
I have been reading the pregnancy and running book. The first three chapters have been about pre-pregnancy care. Its okay, I guess, I will keep reading. I am also reading a Suze Orman book. I want to get a better understanding of money and money matters for my kids sake (notice I said kids). I want them to have a better financial future than I did when I became an adult. So I want to learn how to teach them how to manage their money. So that means I will have to learn how to better manage mine and not leave it for someone else to do. Thanks be to God that I have an honest accountant who manages my books (for my business) or I'd be in trouble. I really don't like dealing with the ins and outs of money. I feel so ignorant that I just run as far away from it as I can. I have even ignored bills so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. I know what you are think. "She is crazy ignoring bill and ignoring balancing her checkbook etc." But when you have been where you don't have enough, looking to see what you don't have is painful.
Check out Proverbs 31. I read that several times last week. I strive to be that woman. I believe I have a lot of her characteristics. I am working to develop more of them.
Because I am about living in the "now" I have to get rid of that old, "later" or "tomorrow" thinking. I am getting control of things "now", "today". So today, I am taking better control of my health, finances and getting more organized. This is health at its essence---- Becoming a WHOLE person.
I haven't talked to my husband much this weekend. Fred becomes a zombie during football season. I think it is so cute (sometimes it is annoying). He loves football. He knows everything about it and all the players. He is a true fan. Anyway, college football is Saturday and NFL is on Sunday so I had better find something to do on the weekends. I watch it with him at times. He has taught me a lot about it so it is interesting to me now. Well, I guess I will catch the rest of this cowboys game with him. Wish me luck on this week of health and wholeness. I'll write later.
Bug got sick this morning, so I was unable to go to church. I was a little disappointed, but I know his health is the important thing. It was that same type of sickness that he had for two weeks. It only lasted for about two hours today, but he threw up about 10 times. I am wondering if he needs to be seen by a gastrointorologist or however you spell it (the stomach doctor). I am starting to think that this is not just a stomach bug. I hope it is nothing too serious. Some good news about Bug. He is fully potty trained in only two weeks. Can you believe it! All it took was the daycare moving him to the room with the older kiddos. The peer pressure pushed him right into "potty" mode. Now he will ask to go or either go on his own. I am so proud of him. I know he is not one of your early potty trained kids, but at least he did it before three years old and that was my goal.
Speaking of stomach, last week was tough. The nausea was to the max. I even had headaches. I worked out three times last week. I only ran two miles last Monday. I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING LIKE IT. I have been feeling yucky and extremely tired. Once I get home from work, I am out. I have gone to sleep every night last week without even knowing it. My husband has had to wake me up and tell me to go to bed. So I have to give myself and 'F' for effort for last week :-( To top it all off, I ate whatever I wanted. This is going to be more challenging than I thought.
I have been reading the pregnancy and running book. The first three chapters have been about pre-pregnancy care. Its okay, I guess, I will keep reading. I am also reading a Suze Orman book. I want to get a better understanding of money and money matters for my kids sake (notice I said kids). I want them to have a better financial future than I did when I became an adult. So I want to learn how to teach them how to manage their money. So that means I will have to learn how to better manage mine and not leave it for someone else to do. Thanks be to God that I have an honest accountant who manages my books (for my business) or I'd be in trouble. I really don't like dealing with the ins and outs of money. I feel so ignorant that I just run as far away from it as I can. I have even ignored bills so that I wouldn't have to deal with it. I know what you are think. "She is crazy ignoring bill and ignoring balancing her checkbook etc." But when you have been where you don't have enough, looking to see what you don't have is painful.
Check out Proverbs 31. I read that several times last week. I strive to be that woman. I believe I have a lot of her characteristics. I am working to develop more of them.
Because I am about living in the "now" I have to get rid of that old, "later" or "tomorrow" thinking. I am getting control of things "now", "today". So today, I am taking better control of my health, finances and getting more organized. This is health at its essence---- Becoming a WHOLE person.
I haven't talked to my husband much this weekend. Fred becomes a zombie during football season. I think it is so cute (sometimes it is annoying). He loves football. He knows everything about it and all the players. He is a true fan. Anyway, college football is Saturday and NFL is on Sunday so I had better find something to do on the weekends. I watch it with him at times. He has taught me a lot about it so it is interesting to me now. Well, I guess I will catch the rest of this cowboys game with him. Wish me luck on this week of health and wholeness. I'll write later.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Baby...Oh...Baby
Hello World,
I have taken 6 pregnancy test in the last 72 hours. I just can't wrap my mind around that fact that I am actually going to be a mother again. I have been feeling "different" for the last two weeks and even suffered nausea when I visited Nashville on the 27th of August. I am so excited, but a little concerned about how busy I am. This pregnancy will be different because I had an easy job with Bug. It wasn't stressful and I didn't have as much responsibility as I do now. I know that is can be done because I have a colleague in Memphis who has a private practice and had a baby since she has been in business....if she can do it, I can too.
I ran twice last week and walked and strength trained, but I have still stopped "dieting". This has lead me to eat a lot of things that I mentally considered forbidden. The weight gain has caused me to be ashamed and angry with myself. I have noted all of the feelings and they are so not true. If I weren't so embarrassed about some of the things I have told myself I would list them here. But the fight is to NOT believe these things. I am still the same person no matter what and at whatever size or stage I am in my life I deserve to be loved and respected by myself and others.
With it being Labor Day, I am off work, but I have to visit Jackson, MS tomorrow so I am not seeing kids. So, I have decided to go with what works. My menus. They kept me organized and it allowed me time to think about other things besides food. I truly hate to be bound by the menu, but this is what is going to help me get back on track at least for now.
I don't think that it will be wise to attempt St. Jude full at this time because of the dehydration factor and the fact that I have never run a full before. Maybe I would do it being pregnant if I had done one before. I am interested in the 1/2 marathon, but it is full.
So for the remainder of the year I have the Women's Run, SIM 5k, Race for the Cure and I have St. Jude (or not). I have a plan to run at least 6 miles 3 x a week for as long as I can during this pregnancy. We will see what the little sweetpea will let me do. I'm off to the store to buy my baby his or her first gift. This is what we did when we found out about Bug. So I am going to do the same for this baby.
My book choice right now is: Runner's World Guide to Running and Pregnancy. I'll let you know if it is informative. My cousin is in the process of sending me Breaking Free and I am going to send her When Food is Love. We are both going to get on the waiting list to attend the Geneen Roth retreats some time next year...We are on our way to total freedom.
I have taken 6 pregnancy test in the last 72 hours. I just can't wrap my mind around that fact that I am actually going to be a mother again. I have been feeling "different" for the last two weeks and even suffered nausea when I visited Nashville on the 27th of August. I am so excited, but a little concerned about how busy I am. This pregnancy will be different because I had an easy job with Bug. It wasn't stressful and I didn't have as much responsibility as I do now. I know that is can be done because I have a colleague in Memphis who has a private practice and had a baby since she has been in business....if she can do it, I can too.
I ran twice last week and walked and strength trained, but I have still stopped "dieting". This has lead me to eat a lot of things that I mentally considered forbidden. The weight gain has caused me to be ashamed and angry with myself. I have noted all of the feelings and they are so not true. If I weren't so embarrassed about some of the things I have told myself I would list them here. But the fight is to NOT believe these things. I am still the same person no matter what and at whatever size or stage I am in my life I deserve to be loved and respected by myself and others.
With it being Labor Day, I am off work, but I have to visit Jackson, MS tomorrow so I am not seeing kids. So, I have decided to go with what works. My menus. They kept me organized and it allowed me time to think about other things besides food. I truly hate to be bound by the menu, but this is what is going to help me get back on track at least for now.
I don't think that it will be wise to attempt St. Jude full at this time because of the dehydration factor and the fact that I have never run a full before. Maybe I would do it being pregnant if I had done one before. I am interested in the 1/2 marathon, but it is full.
So for the remainder of the year I have the Women's Run, SIM 5k, Race for the Cure and I have St. Jude (or not). I have a plan to run at least 6 miles 3 x a week for as long as I can during this pregnancy. We will see what the little sweetpea will let me do. I'm off to the store to buy my baby his or her first gift. This is what we did when we found out about Bug. So I am going to do the same for this baby.
My book choice right now is: Runner's World Guide to Running and Pregnancy. I'll let you know if it is informative. My cousin is in the process of sending me Breaking Free and I am going to send her When Food is Love. We are both going to get on the waiting list to attend the Geneen Roth retreats some time next year...We are on our way to total freedom.
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November 2011