After two years of being away from the gym, I woke up this morning in good spirits. I put my workout clothes on, asked Fred what he wanted me to pick up from the grocery store once I left the gym and headed out the door. I got to the gym parking lot and FROZE. I could not get out of the car. I was completely paralyed. I was afraid to go back into the gym. A man that I used to see at the gym alot pulled up in the parking lot, because I didn't want to look like an idiot, I got out of the truck. BUT I FROZE AGAIN! I got to the front door and couldn't go through. He went in before me and was looking at me like I was insane, I just was frozen. I couldn't go through. I can't tell you why, but it was as if I had something blocking the door. Because the man was looking at me. I went into the gym. I thank God that that man was there. I don't believe that I would have gotten out of my truck this morning. I don't believe that I would have had the courage.
I was able to complete thirty minutes on the stationary bike. Yeah!
I went to the grocery store and bought breakfast for my sons and headed back home. We had a great day with our boys. We took them to the pink palace museum and then to dinner. What a great day!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Thankful and Content
Being thankful is beautiful in the eyes of God. It keeps you from coveting. I recently learned this lesson. I was one that was not thankful. Nothing was ever good enough. I always wanted more. I looked at what and where I thought I should be. I sought the praise and recognition from others and never from those that loved me...just the ones I wanted to love me. Isn't that terrible. I am now more committed to looking at Jesus to be more like my father in heaven. He has given me all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of his son Jesus.
Look people, let me tell you. You can't depend on "man" or this "world" for financial peace, health, wholeness or anything. THEY DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER! Only God has the answers we need. So be content and thankful right were you are. God will take care of you. Seek and keep on seeking Him. Don't stop.
Look people, let me tell you. You can't depend on "man" or this "world" for financial peace, health, wholeness or anything. THEY DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER! Only God has the answers we need. So be content and thankful right were you are. God will take care of you. Seek and keep on seeking Him. Don't stop.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
From Firey Adult to Melting Heart Mommy
Hello World,
It is amazing how kids change your life. I spoke with a 2 fellow colleague today. ALL of us started in private practice at the same time. We all help each other get things started. We were all pen pals and would encourage each other from a distance. We all had our first child and hit the ground running with our businesses. Then we had that second child....and boy are we all different. We are ALL on the same page. ALL of us have changed. We are so motherly. It is amazing how we were going to conquer the world and now our hearts have been conquered by our precious children. No other job in the world can compare.
It is amazing how kids change your life. I spoke with a 2 fellow colleague today. ALL of us started in private practice at the same time. We all help each other get things started. We were all pen pals and would encourage each other from a distance. We all had our first child and hit the ground running with our businesses. Then we had that second child....and boy are we all different. We are ALL on the same page. ALL of us have changed. We are so motherly. It is amazing how we were going to conquer the world and now our hearts have been conquered by our precious children. No other job in the world can compare.
The courage to Change...from Selfish to Godly
Change is very uncomfortable. It requires a lot of facing the truth about yourself, yourself in situations, yourself as a whole. But it is so necessary to becoming the person that God honor. I am not the same. I have never been so free in my whole life. NEVER!
Putting God first and others before yourself is godly, but to do it means changing your plans and accepting new plans based on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and not your own human spirit. I have begun to seek first the kingdom of God. All that is...is doing things the way that God wants and not the way of "The World". It is so different what God wants for us and what we want. All I did was to get up early and discover who I was through prayer and study of the Word for understanding. This is a continues process. It is one that I now realize is never over. I am going to have to stay connected. Not just connect until I get what I am praying for, but connect until Jesus comes back or calls me home to be with Him. My surrender was not met without tears and misunderstandings, but I know this sacrifice of my will for God's will serve me better in the long run (I hope that made sense).
In I Timothy, Paul gives instructions for the bishops and teachers deacons and women. I have read it and heard it a thousand and one times. But after reading it, I got the real motivation for my actions...All of them. My motives have been ALL wrong, even when I thought they were right at the start. I have begun to better see what God was trying to tell me. He was looking at my heart. I was looking at the outside, but he was looking at my heart. Praise God! He is so understanding and merciful. Okay, whew...so much to explain.
As I asked him to show me his love, he has not only shown me his love, but he showed me how to love and how to forgive...yes, me how to forgive.
As God has continued to show me his love, I have changing totally...No more selfishness.
Phillipians 2:3 Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of other as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (NLT)
Putting God first and others before yourself is godly, but to do it means changing your plans and accepting new plans based on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and not your own human spirit. I have begun to seek first the kingdom of God. All that is...is doing things the way that God wants and not the way of "The World". It is so different what God wants for us and what we want. All I did was to get up early and discover who I was through prayer and study of the Word for understanding. This is a continues process. It is one that I now realize is never over. I am going to have to stay connected. Not just connect until I get what I am praying for, but connect until Jesus comes back or calls me home to be with Him. My surrender was not met without tears and misunderstandings, but I know this sacrifice of my will for God's will serve me better in the long run (I hope that made sense).
In I Timothy, Paul gives instructions for the bishops and teachers deacons and women. I have read it and heard it a thousand and one times. But after reading it, I got the real motivation for my actions...All of them. My motives have been ALL wrong, even when I thought they were right at the start. I have begun to better see what God was trying to tell me. He was looking at my heart. I was looking at the outside, but he was looking at my heart. Praise God! He is so understanding and merciful. Okay, whew...so much to explain.
As I asked him to show me his love, he has not only shown me his love, but he showed me how to love and how to forgive...yes, me how to forgive.
As God has continued to show me his love, I have changing totally...No more selfishness.
Phillipians 2:3 Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of other as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (NLT)
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Ending a Great Month
A lot of changes happened this month. My Bug lost his first tooth on Friday the 27th and Nicholas has given up baby toys for his big brother's toys. Fred turned 38 years old on the 19th and completed his last class to finally earn his Bachelor's in Business on the 24th. We celebrated 8 years of marriage on the 24th also. I started a new contract on the 2nd and I moved into another office in my building. I received my book to prepare for a new semester of teaching. I created two new websites and started collecting ideas for my articles and future writings. I have started my workshops to quench my desire to help myself and others overcome overeating.
Over the past two months, I have established a better relationship with God. I am better acquainted with His love and His desire to NEVER give up on me. He won't quit nor will he allow me to quit. I have finally started to understand Him a little better and am more drawn to learning more about Him. Through this knowledge things are becoming more clear as to what He wants from me and my family.
After three years or more, I have an idea of what God was talking about when he wanted me to check the motives for what I do. I had the TOTALLY wrong motives and the bad thing about it, I didn't know that my motives were out of line. He also wanted me to know that if "it" is not of God it is anti-Christ (not of Christ). EVERYTHING! As I have witnessed in the media just this week, when you take a stand for Christ and the written truth of the Holy Bible, you get ridiculed and ostracized. A CEO of a major Southern food chain stated his stance....HIS STANCE on same-sexed marriage and boy o boy did he catch it! Now, when someone else give there opinion that is totally against God and his establishment of the family, there isn't a problem. His opinion is accepted. But when someone takes a stand for what The Word of God says, but that is a big problem and we have got to find a way for him to conform to our idea of what is right or we won't let you do business with us. SO WHAT! you keep on standing CEO, I am willing to be the farm that by this time next year, you will have several franchises in everyone of the States that indicated your inability to establish a franchise in their city.
I also realize that in order for me to be successful a schedule is a must. I have a schedule for business. But I have failed to stick to a schedule in my personal life. I let the boys rule the afternoons and evenings. That has left a lot undone. So scheduling it is. Even for my home activities. This will make for a more healthy life. Please checkout my new website and join me as I win the battle of the bulge permanently through the knowledge of God. spiritfitness.net
Over the past two months, I have established a better relationship with God. I am better acquainted with His love and His desire to NEVER give up on me. He won't quit nor will he allow me to quit. I have finally started to understand Him a little better and am more drawn to learning more about Him. Through this knowledge things are becoming more clear as to what He wants from me and my family.
After three years or more, I have an idea of what God was talking about when he wanted me to check the motives for what I do. I had the TOTALLY wrong motives and the bad thing about it, I didn't know that my motives were out of line. He also wanted me to know that if "it" is not of God it is anti-Christ (not of Christ). EVERYTHING! As I have witnessed in the media just this week, when you take a stand for Christ and the written truth of the Holy Bible, you get ridiculed and ostracized. A CEO of a major Southern food chain stated his stance....HIS STANCE on same-sexed marriage and boy o boy did he catch it! Now, when someone else give there opinion that is totally against God and his establishment of the family, there isn't a problem. His opinion is accepted. But when someone takes a stand for what The Word of God says, but that is a big problem and we have got to find a way for him to conform to our idea of what is right or we won't let you do business with us. SO WHAT! you keep on standing CEO, I am willing to be the farm that by this time next year, you will have several franchises in everyone of the States that indicated your inability to establish a franchise in their city.
I also realize that in order for me to be successful a schedule is a must. I have a schedule for business. But I have failed to stick to a schedule in my personal life. I let the boys rule the afternoons and evenings. That has left a lot undone. So scheduling it is. Even for my home activities. This will make for a more healthy life. Please checkout my new website and join me as I win the battle of the bulge permanently through the knowledge of God. spiritfitness.net
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
He won't let me give up! He loves me too much.
Today is the 4th of July 2012. I am at home with my boys trying to decide what I am going to do with my hair. It is natural, thick and longer than I usually allow it to get. I don't want to cut it because I want to start wearing it straight. So I am at a crossroad. What to do??? I must decide tonight.
About a month ago, I gave up (actually more than a month ago). I decided that I was going to be a fat woman. I have tried it all and nothing has worked for an extended period of time. I am just tired of the fight. The up and down battle the binging, the condemnation, the self-hatred, the strongholds that I can't overcome. I am tired of fighting myself. Tired of the strife. I thought that I had it in 2010, but soon realized that I was still in bondage to food, just in a different way. In bondage to counting points and measuring and planning and dieting. IT IS STILL BONDAGE, EITHER WAY! Maybe it is not for me to be free from food. I decided to just stay as I am and ask God to help me be satisfied just as I am and hopefully not get bigger. But God is faithful. That is just how He is. He won't let me give up. He loves me too much.
I am reading the Diet Alternative by Diane Hampton today. Why, I have read it before. It has been sitting on my bookshelf for years. But God knew that I had given up and He asked me to read it today and it has changed my view. It has sparked my desire again to help myself and others be free. It is about becoming free from binge eating, compulsive eating, and overeating. She has been free from compulsive eating for over 30 years. She has been the same size for 30 years. She doesn't have to count calories, or measure food or be in bondage at all to food. It is very eye opening. She did it by sowing to the Spirit. I have never felt free. Never. Even when I finished my race. I wasn't free. I stopped counting points and regained weight because I was under bondage and wanted to stop being a slave to food, so I stopped counting and measuring and because I never attacked the spirit of gluttony (yes, it is a spirit) the weight came back on. Luckily, I got pregnant with Nick, so I could blame my loss of control on my pregnancy.
For Me....After you have failed and failed and failed and failed and failed and failed at losing weight and keeping it off without bondage, I have begun to lose hope. That is where I have been for the last year. My hope has just diminished. I thought WW was it, but that only makes me think more about food and counting points and measuring. I don't even want to get into the bondage of WW. It is bondage. That is why I dread going and joining. It is bondage. It makes you more obsessed. I decided not to join again. I don't want to be in bondage to food, even if its not carrot cake, but carrot sticks. It is not the answer...God is. I know that. So what is the problem?
Not truly being obedient, holding on to unforgiveness and anger. God has been waking me up at night to tell me this..."If it is not of God it is of the anti-Christ", I was like, "What!, Everything, Do you mean anything?" He never answered me, he just continued to say, "If it is not of God, it is of the anti-Christ." "What, do you mean everything, anything?" again he said "If it is not of God it is of the anti-Christ (against Christ)". God hates sin. He wants me to not accept sin, no matter what it is or what society begins to say is right, What God says is a sin is a sin, no matter what. It is a sin. God hates sin. He hates it. He does not tolerate sin at all. So I have to hate sin. I can't accept it in any form. God hates it, so as a child of God, I have to hate it too. I can't tolerate it. I can't play with it. I can't laugh and joke with it. Gluttony is a sin. I can't be okay with sinning. I can't keep sin in my life. It is bondage, It brings guilt and condemnation. It is a sin. I can't keep doing this. It has to be out of my life if I am to be productive for God. If I am going to help others be free from it through learning God's love. I have to get it out of my life and not tolerate it in any form.
True sowing to the Spirit is my answer, no matter how many times I mess up. God is faithful and He loves me. My motive has to be to please Him in all that I do. My loving God more than being accepted by others is the answer. My loving God more than being successful. My loving God more than my past hurts and need to acknowledged by people from the past. I must follow His way.
I ask myself, "Can I be free? Can I really be free? Can God really set me free? Can I allow Him to be everything to me and quit relying on my own strength? Can I really do it?" When circumstances and challenges come in life, can I turn to God and not to food (that is what I did. I turned to food these last two years. When the storm came, my foundation was not on the "rock" of God's truth. I put my trust in food and its ability to get me "high" so that I don't have to face the problems).
God forgive me. I have been so wrong. Your way is the only way. I have put everything before you. I tried to handle all my problems on my own. Just as I gave little Fred's problem to you and I watched you heal and continue to heal my son from his deficits. I watched your power in his little life. I finally give you the sin of gluttony. I don't owe anything to food. It is time to let it go for good. I have not put my trust in you. Please forgive me for my wrong doing. My disobedience, my trying to "do-it-myself, my putting my trust in diet plans and getting all types of "man" knowledge. Thank you for loving me and never giving up on me. Thank you God....for loving me and sending your son to set me Free forever. I receive Your freedom and will prove that your way is the only way. Selah!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Educating Brilliant Minds...including my own
Hello World,
This past week has been so exciting for me. I have been given the awesome opportunity to teach at the University. Man O Man. Did I ever take what my professors went through for granted! It takes a lot to get a lesson together. It takes a lot to decide what is important and what could be left out. It takes much effort to decide when to be lenient and when to say "No"! These college students are slick. Slicker than oil. Most of them are on the ball. They complete my assignments and my quizzes without difficulty. I have a couple that want to try me, but although I have been out of school for some time....it ain't been that long baby...I know a little bit about what you guys do :-). But this is so fun. So fun!
I also am about to take on a position with the State association as it relates to speech pathology. Although my position will be the most tedious of positions, this position will help me in my new revised business, as an educator at the University and with projects that I do with my family. This is not a "shine" position like some of the others, it is a good behind the scenes position where one can learn . So I am now ready to learn, I am just now learning how to be a business woman. It has been a four year journey, but I was working for someone else. Only recently did I take on the challenge of being in my own business without constraints and restraints. So for the next..however many years, I am going to be learning. Learning. Closing my mouth and opening my eyes. In this association position, I will sit back and learn from some of the most brilliant minds in the state (as relates to SLP). So I am up for the challenge.
Also, I am learning about being an entrepreneur. My company has always been a gateway to many various types of business ventures that I would like to try. Whether service based or retail, I can't wait to get my ideas together and get started. The possibilities are endless and I am just the right person to try them...I am not afraid to fail or be talked about or rejected or blackballed or whatever other people are afraid of. That doesn't matter to me. FINALLY, I have begun to mature enough in my relationship with Christ to know that ones opinion of me make no difference what so ever.
Oh, I apologize for just dumping everything one you at one time, but it has been a while since we have spoken world. I have decided (as I have been doing) to close some more doors that have not been beneficial. NO matter the cost or what I leave behind. It is not worth being held back. I am moving forward and if people have a problem with that, it is too bad. I am going to make money with my time. I am going to love with my time. I am going to make good Godly decisions with my time. NO more waiting for a handout. NO more depending on systems that aren't working for me or others. No more profitless associations. Someone has to start thinking smart. It took me a while, but smart is the thinking for me. No more trying to follow the crowd. They are all going to hell in a hand basket. The bible said that many are "called", but few are chosen. Why are few chosen, because most people want to do what everyone else is doing, no one wants to listen to the one who has our best interest at heart-God. I am right where God told me to be four years ago and would have been a lot further ahead had I listened to him back then. Look, remember when God lead me to read Jonah a while back. This was another Jonah lesson. God asked Jonah to go to Ninevah, he went another way and still ended up in Ninevah, but after going through things that he really didn't have to go through had he listened. Well, I have decided to listen and obey quickly. As I learn to genuinely trust God. I realize that there is nothing that I can't do.
With my new vision, I don't need as much. Not as much space or materials. This will be much more simple and to the point. A lot less like the traditional picture of the SLP, but lets face it, there is nothing mainstream about me. I have always been what the World considers alternative and old fashion. With my new certifications, I need a much more intimate setting.
Physical Health:
I started my juice fast this week. The combinations are endless. This morning I tried carrots, and cabbage. It was truly delicious. It was extremely filling. I drank it at about 6:15am and was not hungry again until well after 12pm. Now that's the kind of breakfast a girl on the go needs.
Spiritual Health
I am still saying my confessions, but with the reading of James. I can confess till the cows come home. If I don't do the word. It is of NO EFFECT! I am so glad that I am changing into God's image more and more everyday as I continue in His Word. I am becoming more and more like him. Awesome. World, now this, If you don't continue in His word, you will go back to old habits and have to start from, (as my sister says...) before scratch. I have decided to stay with the Word of God, no matter what it takes. No matter how early I have to rise or how late I have to stay up. He will get my time. I don't have any other choice. With the drive to the University and back, it has been an awesome experience to spend that drive time with him. O how I love God, he showed me that I am lovable.
We have found a new group of like minded individuals that share our love for God. When I say we, I mean Fred and I. We attended an outing at Arkabutia lake (I hope I spelled that correctly). I had never been there before. It is was nice. Although, we were of differing backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses and education levels, the fact that the only thing that was evident was our love for the Lord Jesus Christ was refreshing. The best thing about it to me was how much my husband enjoys being with these people. We will see what the future holds.
Okay, must pick up my precious boys and plan for tomorrow. I will write again as soon as I can.
This past week has been so exciting for me. I have been given the awesome opportunity to teach at the University. Man O Man. Did I ever take what my professors went through for granted! It takes a lot to get a lesson together. It takes a lot to decide what is important and what could be left out. It takes much effort to decide when to be lenient and when to say "No"! These college students are slick. Slicker than oil. Most of them are on the ball. They complete my assignments and my quizzes without difficulty. I have a couple that want to try me, but although I have been out of school for some time....it ain't been that long baby...I know a little bit about what you guys do :-). But this is so fun. So fun!
I also am about to take on a position with the State association as it relates to speech pathology. Although my position will be the most tedious of positions, this position will help me in my new revised business, as an educator at the University and with projects that I do with my family. This is not a "shine" position like some of the others, it is a good behind the scenes position where one can learn . So I am now ready to learn, I am just now learning how to be a business woman. It has been a four year journey, but I was working for someone else. Only recently did I take on the challenge of being in my own business without constraints and restraints. So for the next..however many years, I am going to be learning. Learning. Closing my mouth and opening my eyes. In this association position, I will sit back and learn from some of the most brilliant minds in the state (as relates to SLP). So I am up for the challenge.
Also, I am learning about being an entrepreneur. My company has always been a gateway to many various types of business ventures that I would like to try. Whether service based or retail, I can't wait to get my ideas together and get started. The possibilities are endless and I am just the right person to try them...I am not afraid to fail or be talked about or rejected or blackballed or whatever other people are afraid of. That doesn't matter to me. FINALLY, I have begun to mature enough in my relationship with Christ to know that ones opinion of me make no difference what so ever.
Oh, I apologize for just dumping everything one you at one time, but it has been a while since we have spoken world. I have decided (as I have been doing) to close some more doors that have not been beneficial. NO matter the cost or what I leave behind. It is not worth being held back. I am moving forward and if people have a problem with that, it is too bad. I am going to make money with my time. I am going to love with my time. I am going to make good Godly decisions with my time. NO more waiting for a handout. NO more depending on systems that aren't working for me or others. No more profitless associations. Someone has to start thinking smart. It took me a while, but smart is the thinking for me. No more trying to follow the crowd. They are all going to hell in a hand basket. The bible said that many are "called", but few are chosen. Why are few chosen, because most people want to do what everyone else is doing, no one wants to listen to the one who has our best interest at heart-God. I am right where God told me to be four years ago and would have been a lot further ahead had I listened to him back then. Look, remember when God lead me to read Jonah a while back. This was another Jonah lesson. God asked Jonah to go to Ninevah, he went another way and still ended up in Ninevah, but after going through things that he really didn't have to go through had he listened. Well, I have decided to listen and obey quickly. As I learn to genuinely trust God. I realize that there is nothing that I can't do.
With my new vision, I don't need as much. Not as much space or materials. This will be much more simple and to the point. A lot less like the traditional picture of the SLP, but lets face it, there is nothing mainstream about me. I have always been what the World considers alternative and old fashion. With my new certifications, I need a much more intimate setting.
Physical Health:
I started my juice fast this week. The combinations are endless. This morning I tried carrots, and cabbage. It was truly delicious. It was extremely filling. I drank it at about 6:15am and was not hungry again until well after 12pm. Now that's the kind of breakfast a girl on the go needs.
Spiritual Health
I am still saying my confessions, but with the reading of James. I can confess till the cows come home. If I don't do the word. It is of NO EFFECT! I am so glad that I am changing into God's image more and more everyday as I continue in His Word. I am becoming more and more like him. Awesome. World, now this, If you don't continue in His word, you will go back to old habits and have to start from, (as my sister says...) before scratch. I have decided to stay with the Word of God, no matter what it takes. No matter how early I have to rise or how late I have to stay up. He will get my time. I don't have any other choice. With the drive to the University and back, it has been an awesome experience to spend that drive time with him. O how I love God, he showed me that I am lovable.
We have found a new group of like minded individuals that share our love for God. When I say we, I mean Fred and I. We attended an outing at Arkabutia lake (I hope I spelled that correctly). I had never been there before. It is was nice. Although, we were of differing backgrounds, socioeconomic statuses and education levels, the fact that the only thing that was evident was our love for the Lord Jesus Christ was refreshing. The best thing about it to me was how much my husband enjoys being with these people. We will see what the future holds.
Okay, must pick up my precious boys and plan for tomorrow. I will write again as soon as I can.
Happy Birthday, Nicholas
(World, please excuse the late entry. This was written on the evening of the 28th of May, but I am just now getting a chance to post it)
5/28/2012
My Baby is now a toddler. I cried like a baby, when Fred gave him his first hair cut. I just can't believe the time has flown by so quickly. We were scheduled to have his birthday party on Saturday, but everyone that was invited was unable to attend. So, I moved the party to today and attended my high school reunion banquet. We celebrated our 15th year class reunion. The turn out was low, but the event was intimate and extremely nice. It was a pleasure seeing the people that you grew up with. Fred came with me and guess what, NO KIDS! My parents watched the boys and gave us that time to spend with my classmates and ultimately with each other. What a fun night!
Well, we are going to have a memorial day slash birthday party today.
The memorial day slash birthday party was great! Nicholas has a great time and you know as always, Bug had a good time. He was more excited about Nick's birthday than anyone. We had the party at our home, my nieces and nephews attended. My mom and dad (grandparents). It was fun.
Spiritual Health
I was reading in James 1: 13-15. This passage speaks to being a doer of the Word of God and not a hearer only. This was very good news to me. I know a lot about a lot as it relates to health, wellness and naturopathy ( I am learning more and more) but doing what I know has been a challenge. It takes discipline and a willingness to see God as more important than yourself. Am I doing what the word of God ask me to do? What are we to do? 1. Love God with ALL of your heart, mind and soul. 2. Love your neighbor as yourself... Do we really love God with all our hearts? Are we being a good steward over what he has given us? Selah!
5/28/2012
My Baby is now a toddler. I cried like a baby, when Fred gave him his first hair cut. I just can't believe the time has flown by so quickly. We were scheduled to have his birthday party on Saturday, but everyone that was invited was unable to attend. So, I moved the party to today and attended my high school reunion banquet. We celebrated our 15th year class reunion. The turn out was low, but the event was intimate and extremely nice. It was a pleasure seeing the people that you grew up with. Fred came with me and guess what, NO KIDS! My parents watched the boys and gave us that time to spend with my classmates and ultimately with each other. What a fun night!
Well, we are going to have a memorial day slash birthday party today.
The memorial day slash birthday party was great! Nicholas has a great time and you know as always, Bug had a good time. He was more excited about Nick's birthday than anyone. We had the party at our home, my nieces and nephews attended. My mom and dad (grandparents). It was fun.
Spiritual Health
I was reading in James 1: 13-15. This passage speaks to being a doer of the Word of God and not a hearer only. This was very good news to me. I know a lot about a lot as it relates to health, wellness and naturopathy ( I am learning more and more) but doing what I know has been a challenge. It takes discipline and a willingness to see God as more important than yourself. Am I doing what the word of God ask me to do? What are we to do? 1. Love God with ALL of your heart, mind and soul. 2. Love your neighbor as yourself... Do we really love God with all our hearts? Are we being a good steward over what he has given us? Selah!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Congratulations to My Graduate!
It is so amazing how a dream can come true. For over a year now, I have dreamed of Fred graduating from college. I was there with two children. One was Bug and the other was an almost one year old I never saw the sex of the one I was carrying. I was in perfect shape with well defined arms and a fitted purple dress with a black belt and black shoes. My hair was natural with shiny curls and my make-up was perfect...
I have been extremely busy. Not very productive, just busy. I didn't take the time to look for a dress. I hate looking for anything when I am overweight. So, I asked God to help me. I just explained my situation to him. I cast the care of my outward appearance and gave it to Him. Friday, I went inside the boutique and found the perfect purple dress. Okay, it fits well. It looks good. So, now Lord, I need some shoes. Because my feet are large, it is difficult at times to find shoes that are my size, but I went into the second shoe store and "BAM!" the perfect pair of shoes to go with the dress. So my dream became a reality. Just as I saw it (minus the part about me being in perfect shape). But this is not about me I began to think. I just want to look my best for Frederick 's big day.
So, Saturday was an awesome day. Frederick graduated from Ole Miss with his Bachelor's in Business Administration with a concentration on Human Resources. I have never been so proud of him. He was extremely proud of himself. The excitement that he displayed was beautiful. He didn't even sleep Friday night. He got out of the bed at about 3 am and I got out of bed to help him calm his nerves. He really liked my dress. I am so glad he did. God picked it out for me.
Hearing his name as he walked across the stage, was the best part. Watching him smile as he shook the hand of the Dean of the Business School. Congratulations, Fred. Welcome to Rebelville....Hotty Toddy!
I have been extremely busy. Not very productive, just busy. I didn't take the time to look for a dress. I hate looking for anything when I am overweight. So, I asked God to help me. I just explained my situation to him. I cast the care of my outward appearance and gave it to Him. Friday, I went inside the boutique and found the perfect purple dress. Okay, it fits well. It looks good. So, now Lord, I need some shoes. Because my feet are large, it is difficult at times to find shoes that are my size, but I went into the second shoe store and "BAM!" the perfect pair of shoes to go with the dress. So my dream became a reality. Just as I saw it (minus the part about me being in perfect shape). But this is not about me I began to think. I just want to look my best for Frederick 's big day.
So, Saturday was an awesome day. Frederick graduated from Ole Miss with his Bachelor's in Business Administration with a concentration on Human Resources. I have never been so proud of him. He was extremely proud of himself. The excitement that he displayed was beautiful. He didn't even sleep Friday night. He got out of the bed at about 3 am and I got out of bed to help him calm his nerves. He really liked my dress. I am so glad he did. God picked it out for me.
Hearing his name as he walked across the stage, was the best part. Watching him smile as he shook the hand of the Dean of the Business School. Congratulations, Fred. Welcome to Rebelville....Hotty Toddy!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
In My Element
Man O Man, I went to a wonderful meeting yesterday with like-minded people. People who are interested in business, health and wellness. Published authors,columnist and motivational speakers. WOW! It was the best thing I'd been to in a while. It was a great refresher for my own motivation to become a more productive person as a whole. I was so in my element. The event inspired me to continue my writings that I had put on hold due to being in the wrong thing for so long.
I am an individual. I am an innovator. I am a leader and not a follower. It has been so clear for so long what I need to do with my health, family and business. I let go of my vision...I couldn't see past my current situation. But even though it has been a rough calendar year emotionally. I have had a REAL TRUE pick-me-up. I am heading in a new and free direction. I am calling my OWN shots. I am getting my validation from God, my husband and my two children. I don't have to dance to anyone's music, especially when they don't have my best interest in mind. I love it and I thank God for every trial this year, every affliction, every eye-opening experience. It has lead me back to myself. Back to motivation-Back to truthfulness-Back to encouragement, Back to accomplished. So although I have said it 100 times this year, I am back in my element. As indicated in Matthew 6:34, don't worry about anything! Watch Out world!
Sidebar: Today, I went to the department store and literally stocked up on clothes. I have been punishing myself for the last year for not keeping my promise to myself. I was being very unforgiving. After reading my Bible and committing to positive confessions, my faith has again strengthened. What I must remember is not to let the cares of this World rob me of success. I have been listening to the Holy Spirit and receiving help and strength from him. But I am thankful for this drought. Thankful for this time of reflection and time to see what things are REALLY about. I am thankful for understanding what my motives were really about when it related to me. Validation! I was at a standstill for four years waiting on someone to tell me to move in the right direction. It wasn't until my son's daycare teacher asked me, " what are you waiting on?" I couldn't answer her. I guess I am waiting on someone to tell me to move, but God already told me to move years ago. So, I have made some changes. All stressful, unproductive, & binding committments have been eliminated. I am free for change, in my body, mind and spirit. My Element!
I am an individual. I am an innovator. I am a leader and not a follower. It has been so clear for so long what I need to do with my health, family and business. I let go of my vision...I couldn't see past my current situation. But even though it has been a rough calendar year emotionally. I have had a REAL TRUE pick-me-up. I am heading in a new and free direction. I am calling my OWN shots. I am getting my validation from God, my husband and my two children. I don't have to dance to anyone's music, especially when they don't have my best interest in mind. I love it and I thank God for every trial this year, every affliction, every eye-opening experience. It has lead me back to myself. Back to motivation-Back to truthfulness-Back to encouragement, Back to accomplished. So although I have said it 100 times this year, I am back in my element. As indicated in Matthew 6:34, don't worry about anything! Watch Out world!
Sidebar: Today, I went to the department store and literally stocked up on clothes. I have been punishing myself for the last year for not keeping my promise to myself. I was being very unforgiving. After reading my Bible and committing to positive confessions, my faith has again strengthened. What I must remember is not to let the cares of this World rob me of success. I have been listening to the Holy Spirit and receiving help and strength from him. But I am thankful for this drought. Thankful for this time of reflection and time to see what things are REALLY about. I am thankful for understanding what my motives were really about when it related to me. Validation! I was at a standstill for four years waiting on someone to tell me to move in the right direction. It wasn't until my son's daycare teacher asked me, " what are you waiting on?" I couldn't answer her. I guess I am waiting on someone to tell me to move, but God already told me to move years ago. So, I have made some changes. All stressful, unproductive, & binding committments have been eliminated. I am free for change, in my body, mind and spirit. My Element!
Friday, May 4, 2012
STILL RECEIVING HELP, AGAIN
I am up this morning. I have decided to write instead of doing any of my other morning activities. I have a lot on my mind so...just let me vent. Thanks world.
I learned yesterday not to take on too much, how to make things more simple. I heard a teaching on the story of Moses and how he had to learn to delegate once he began working for his father-in-law. He tried to do everything himself. He would do things just because people asked him to, not considering what he had to do himself or what would be more important than the thing you agreed to do for someone else. SELAH! Isn't the bible amazing! The word of God is so practical. It actually has an example of EVERYTHING and a solution. It is definitely the key to life. ONE thing I have to remember to do is GO TO THE BIBLE FIRST AND NOT AFTER THE ERRORS HAVE BEEN MADE. I would save myself a lot of time. For me, I seem to hear a whole lot better after I have bumped my "hard head". To get me to listen to anyone once I have set my mind on something is a heck of a challenge. This characteristic has been a good thing at times and a horrible thing at other times.
I am STILL working on some things: 1.) saying, No, 2.) letting people help me and 3.) Having the courage to not give up. I have times when I get really discouraged when it comes to Lil Fred and his communication. Every time, I see a younger kid that is further along in his communication than Bug, I just get so upset. All these emotions: anger, sadness, confusion, denial and even betrayal. I realize this situation has turned my life up side down: some for the good, but in some ways has made living a bit difficult. I cast the care, but I keep picking it back up. I keep holding on to it wanting to fix it myself. What can I do? I'll try this...or I'll try that. Maybe I can buy this or that. Then, I see God standing there waiting to take the worry back from me, waiting to take the burden, waiting to sort it all out for me. I then with hesitation, I give it back to Him, 'cause I will again realize that I can't fix it. Only He can. So here...my Lord...take it back. Help me to trust you to take care of Lil Fred.
Side step: I had a meeting with a computer programmer, IT (whatever that means, I think Internet technician...who knows. I need to look that up) and website designer yesterday. The meeting was a bit strange, because about seven or eight years ago, I had a different association with this man. He came to assist me with some changes that are about to take place as far as business is concerned. As he explained things, it was a bit difficult at first. I just assumed I needed a little bit of this and a few more of that. But once I told him what I want and he explained everything...and I was able to turn it around into terms that I could relate to (I related everything to housing, real estate, and interior designing). I now realize that I was living in the ghetto, Section 8 as it relates to the choices that I have made related to technology. It was a GREAT meeting. Well worth the time.
I had better get ready to start the day....I'll write a little later. Thanks for listening.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Casting Your Cares
I am learning so much. Casting cares upon the lord. I can go to Him and tell him what I don't want to deal with, give it to Him, let go of it, pray and that's it. Believe and trust that he will take care of the situation. DONE!
Following the Lord
I have been enjoying my morning walks in my neighborhood. I haven't been going to the gym, just walking and listening to my iPod. It's been very relaxing. As I am in this period of transition, I am realizing what God has called me to do. It seems so impossible, so not like me. It has been in my heart and my head has fought against it for so long. Spiritual desires and great ideas come from the Lord, but we have to be obedient to Him. The funny thing about God is that he does not scream at you, he just says what he needs to say and you either listen or not. I have learned that God calls everyone to Him. Only a few are willing to forsake ALL and follow Him. Look at Luke 5:10-11, these guys dropped everything and if you think about it they gained everything by following Jesus. Also check out Luke 5:27-28. They left it all, family, friends, their own desires to help Jesus with the business of preaching the Kingdom of God.
There were examples of those that did not find following Jesus as important as family and friends and their own desires. Look at Luke 9:59-62. Jesus said to follow me and he says, I have to see about my father and I will come with you after he dies (my own paraphrasing) and Jesus said, let the dead bury the dead and go preach the kingdom. Another said, I will follow you, but I have to say goodbye to my people at home. Jesus said (my paraphrasing) no man plowing forward and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God. Isn't that eye opening, you have to drop all of your wants, take up your cross and follow Him.
God has called us to a healthy and balanced life. We must follow Him and learn from his example of balance. For every TEMPTATION(which we are going to be tempted until we "check out" of here) He had provided a way of escape. That is the ammunition I am using to combat my ungodly cravings and desires to overeat...look for my way of escape.
As I am growing and learning to follow God more and more, I am developing extreme love for his children. I am understanding people more and where they may be coming from. My confession of forgiveness to others has help me to become more free, less afraid of people and more accepting. Wow, what freedom.
Sidebar:
Hey, Nicholas took his first 2 steps yesterday and 5 steps today. Bug was so excited, "Mama, Nick-Nick walking!". With tears in my eyes, I began to realize that my baby is now a toddler. They grow up so fast.
There were examples of those that did not find following Jesus as important as family and friends and their own desires. Look at Luke 9:59-62. Jesus said to follow me and he says, I have to see about my father and I will come with you after he dies (my own paraphrasing) and Jesus said, let the dead bury the dead and go preach the kingdom. Another said, I will follow you, but I have to say goodbye to my people at home. Jesus said (my paraphrasing) no man plowing forward and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God. Isn't that eye opening, you have to drop all of your wants, take up your cross and follow Him.
God has called us to a healthy and balanced life. We must follow Him and learn from his example of balance. For every TEMPTATION(which we are going to be tempted until we "check out" of here) He had provided a way of escape. That is the ammunition I am using to combat my ungodly cravings and desires to overeat...look for my way of escape.
As I am growing and learning to follow God more and more, I am developing extreme love for his children. I am understanding people more and where they may be coming from. My confession of forgiveness to others has help me to become more free, less afraid of people and more accepting. Wow, what freedom.
Sidebar:
Hey, Nicholas took his first 2 steps yesterday and 5 steps today. Bug was so excited, "Mama, Nick-Nick walking!". With tears in my eyes, I began to realize that my baby is now a toddler. They grow up so fast.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Buggie's Games
My little all star has played in two T-ball games. He thinks that he is a major leaguer. He throws well. Catches the ball well. He will catch a ball at third base and run to 1st base and get someone out. Okay, so he needs to learn to throw the ball to the first baseman, but whatever, he is awesome. Go Gators...chomp, chomp.
Receiving Help!
Hello World,
Just recently, I have learned to receive help. Not just any help. I have looked to people who actually know what I am facing and seeking their assistance: real business owners, real mothers, real friends. All with this concensus... Do what you want to do! You can do it! It may take you longer! You may have to do somethings for the present time that you do not want to do, but do things the way that you want to do it. Without bondage from "self" or bondage from "entities". I realize that what is for me is for me. I don't have to be like others in any way. So with this in mind, the Month of May will be great. For one, it is BHSM. My fourth year of business and also the year of new beginnings. The funny thing is I am going back four years. I am finally now on the road that I should have stayed on four years ago. Secondly, I am planning a well needed break. I want to get somewhere and clear my head and prepare for the new direction of self, family and business. Thirdly, I am seeking balance...yes, that's it. Balance is my new focus and will have to be my new way of life.
Sidebar:
God has placed some helpful people in my life recently. I would usually NEVER and I do mean NEVER listen to. God has a funny way of helping you get out of your "set" ways. I am going to rejoin my running group. I was a little ashame to do it since I was unable to get in shape after my baby. But what I have to do is see myself as a finisher. Not just a starter, but a finisher, but at my own pace. There is nothing wrong with getting "there" a little slower than others. Just get there. I have still been writing my fitness plan. It is even better now and more tied to the true emotions of those with difficulty than when I thought I had a grasp on things. With the continued revelation of the book or Mark, Galatians and now I'd like to add Phillipians. I am beginning to understand what the sufferings of Christ was. He suffered because he had to be obedient. Our flesh suffers when we have to do things other that what it wants to do.
Sidebar 2:
Never devalue yourself or the things that you offer. Never let others devalue you or what you have to offer. No, you are not "free". You are worth payment, recognition---value. You are great and what you do with God as your guide is even greater. You have a choice, world. Chose life. Don't let things keep you in bondage. Its hard, but you don't have to follow the crowd. Especially if you don't fit with the crowd, you only make yourself miserable. There are people that will value you, appreciate your work (service). Look for those people, target those people. Surround yourself with people that appreciate you and what you do, people that are like minded.
Just recently, I have learned to receive help. Not just any help. I have looked to people who actually know what I am facing and seeking their assistance: real business owners, real mothers, real friends. All with this concensus... Do what you want to do! You can do it! It may take you longer! You may have to do somethings for the present time that you do not want to do, but do things the way that you want to do it. Without bondage from "self" or bondage from "entities". I realize that what is for me is for me. I don't have to be like others in any way. So with this in mind, the Month of May will be great. For one, it is BHSM. My fourth year of business and also the year of new beginnings. The funny thing is I am going back four years. I am finally now on the road that I should have stayed on four years ago. Secondly, I am planning a well needed break. I want to get somewhere and clear my head and prepare for the new direction of self, family and business. Thirdly, I am seeking balance...yes, that's it. Balance is my new focus and will have to be my new way of life.
Sidebar:
God has placed some helpful people in my life recently. I would usually NEVER and I do mean NEVER listen to. God has a funny way of helping you get out of your "set" ways. I am going to rejoin my running group. I was a little ashame to do it since I was unable to get in shape after my baby. But what I have to do is see myself as a finisher. Not just a starter, but a finisher, but at my own pace. There is nothing wrong with getting "there" a little slower than others. Just get there. I have still been writing my fitness plan. It is even better now and more tied to the true emotions of those with difficulty than when I thought I had a grasp on things. With the continued revelation of the book or Mark, Galatians and now I'd like to add Phillipians. I am beginning to understand what the sufferings of Christ was. He suffered because he had to be obedient. Our flesh suffers when we have to do things other that what it wants to do.
Sidebar 2:
Never devalue yourself or the things that you offer. Never let others devalue you or what you have to offer. No, you are not "free". You are worth payment, recognition---value. You are great and what you do with God as your guide is even greater. You have a choice, world. Chose life. Don't let things keep you in bondage. Its hard, but you don't have to follow the crowd. Especially if you don't fit with the crowd, you only make yourself miserable. There are people that will value you, appreciate your work (service). Look for those people, target those people. Surround yourself with people that appreciate you and what you do, people that are like minded.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Plans Bigger than "You"
When something is on your heart that is bigger than you are and seems impossible; That is when you know that that "something" is from God. How can I do it? What do I know about ".."? Who is going to listen to me when it comes to "Blank"? God wants us to totally depend on Him. The Israelites had to depend on a cloud by day and fire by night. The Lord wanted them to totally depend, rely and trust in Him for EVERYTHING. There are things that you just can't do on your own. You will eventually hit a brick wall. I can equate this to only what I have seen here in the natural. For example, clients have replaced SLPs with iPads, ABA therapist, OTs, some trendy computer program or product, and any other profession, but at the end of the day you are going to hit a communication wall. You will not know what to do and then you will be crawling back to a SLP because we are the only professionals that truly understand communication and communication treatment and disorders. That's how it is with God. We use him to get what we want and after we get our "blessing and or break through" then we try to do everything on our own. We replace God with food, sex, anger, bitterness, laziness...etc. EVENTUALLY, you will hit a spiritual brick wall and you will go only as far as your human thinking will allow. Then, you will have to find God and study His word.
I said all of that to say. I am so excited about my future. I am exactly in the place where God wants me: totally dependent on Him. Selah!
Over the past three months, I have been deeply studying the word. I have been focusing on the book of Mark and Romans. These two books have been a true blessing to me. My faith is growing more and more.
To overcome obsticles, you can not be ruled by your emotions. If you wait to "feel like exercising" or "feel like eating right", it will never happen or even if it does it will not be consistent. Feelings and emotions are temporary and ever changing. The word of God is permanent. It never changes, God never changes.
Scriptures to ponder:
Romans 12: 1-2.
present your body
Renew you mind
do not be conformed to the world
It's the least we can do for all the mercy God has shown us.
I said all of that to say. I am so excited about my future. I am exactly in the place where God wants me: totally dependent on Him. Selah!
Over the past three months, I have been deeply studying the word. I have been focusing on the book of Mark and Romans. These two books have been a true blessing to me. My faith is growing more and more.
To overcome obsticles, you can not be ruled by your emotions. If you wait to "feel like exercising" or "feel like eating right", it will never happen or even if it does it will not be consistent. Feelings and emotions are temporary and ever changing. The word of God is permanent. It never changes, God never changes.
Scriptures to ponder:
Romans 12: 1-2.
present your body
Renew you mind
do not be conformed to the world
It's the least we can do for all the mercy God has shown us.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
T-Ball Fun and Christian Maturity
Thursday was such an exciting day for me! I rushed back from Jackson, MS to attend Bug's first T-ball practice. He did such a great job. He listened very well, watched the coaches and followed directions. He was able to hit the ball and run to the bases. Fred (Daddy Fred) needs to be on the coaching staff. He was all in the way. Well, they appreciated his assistance, but he was helping the children get to the bases and bat at the T. It was the cutest thing ever.
Nick and I walked the walking trail at the park. He enjoyed the scenery and I enjoyed the stress relief of a nice walk with my baby boy. Fun! Fun!
I have been going through a great transition, both mentally, emotionally and physically. A lot of my initial goals have changed. I have matured. things that were so important to me are not as important. Things that I never cared about are now extremely important to me. I guess I am maturing and beginning to see what is really important in life. As I am getting deeper into my thirties and accepting my role as a mother, things are so different and I like it. The bible has a different meaning. My role as a christian is different. I always saw things as "for me", but my christianity is not for me at all. It is for others....ding!ding!ding! This is also a lesson learned from the book of Jonah and my other studies. I have a deeper understanding of what Jesus did for us and the true meaning of what He means. The words we speak and the attitudes that we have make or break our daily successes and failures in life. I understand that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. There is NOTHING that just happens, NOTHING. The life I have today is a direct result of the choices I have made, the people I have decided to listen to and the words that I have spoken. We have a lot more authority over the coarse of our lives than we think. God gave us free will. We have the power to chose life or chose death. HE suggested that we chose life so that we may live (Deutoronomy 30:19). Our words Proverbs 18:21 determine our outcome as well.
Nick and I walked the walking trail at the park. He enjoyed the scenery and I enjoyed the stress relief of a nice walk with my baby boy. Fun! Fun!
I have been going through a great transition, both mentally, emotionally and physically. A lot of my initial goals have changed. I have matured. things that were so important to me are not as important. Things that I never cared about are now extremely important to me. I guess I am maturing and beginning to see what is really important in life. As I am getting deeper into my thirties and accepting my role as a mother, things are so different and I like it. The bible has a different meaning. My role as a christian is different. I always saw things as "for me", but my christianity is not for me at all. It is for others....ding!ding!ding! This is also a lesson learned from the book of Jonah and my other studies. I have a deeper understanding of what Jesus did for us and the true meaning of what He means. The words we speak and the attitudes that we have make or break our daily successes and failures in life. I understand that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. There is NOTHING that just happens, NOTHING. The life I have today is a direct result of the choices I have made, the people I have decided to listen to and the words that I have spoken. We have a lot more authority over the coarse of our lives than we think. God gave us free will. We have the power to chose life or chose death. HE suggested that we chose life so that we may live (Deutoronomy 30:19). Our words Proverbs 18:21 determine our outcome as well.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Today, I chose the Word, forever.
This is my first step to the rest of my life. I am not going through this ever again. I can say that wholeheartedly. I haven't been as confident about this EVER! So, I am learning about the power of words, Words that we speak to others and those we say to ourselves and about ourselves. The Word, the need to seek Him (God) first. We have to seek the Kingdom of God, which is to say, we have to seek God's way of thinking and operating. This is only done through His word. Consistent, non negotiable time with Him on a daily basis. Not if I have time to spend reading and studying the Word, but a MUST! There is nothing more important. Today! I make a decision to choose life and that life is The Word~
There is no other way to get rid of an addiction (food or other addiction), but to renew your mind truly to the Word of God. You have got to change your thinking. I mean really do it. I mean really, no... I mean really change your mind. It's not about just knowing scriptures, but praying them and meditation on them until they start speaking to you. Then making CHANGES with the power that comes from the Holy Spirit as you mix action with the Word of God. The Word~ Until it bubbles up inside of you and spill out and into your heart (spirit man). I am a spirit. God designed my spirit (human spirit) to hunger and thirst after Him. He made us to fellowship with Him. That is what we were designed to do. If we do not do this, we will fill ourselves with junk-whether junk food, food, t.v., drugs, alcohol, needing praise from others, people pleasers, cigarettes, working too much, sex, backbiting and slander, starting strife, partying, fornication, adultery, lack of discipline, shopping, obsessive behaviors, hoarding. Whatever, Your, thing is. It is your human attempt to fill the space in your spirit that is designed to be filled with Love or God.
I want God/Love to fill my space so that I will be able to take on anything. We have so many sayings and "fake" religious beliefs. Stuff that I see and thought I knew is not even in the bible or was misquoted or taken out of context completely. We put so much and require so much of the responsibility of knowing God on the pastor or preacher. God has given us just as much grace and mercy and authority as our pastors. We don't need him (pastor) to go to God for us. We have to go to God ourselves. When we don't understand why something we are believing for doesn't work, we start to reason with our stupid human"religion". We say things, like I guess it wasn't in God's will. His will is spelled out for us. We have to keep his commandments. WE CAN DO IT. Jesus was our example, but one thing about Him. He spent time with the father on a daily basis.
For all these years, I have made something so easy; so difficult. God is easy. He loves me. I chose to stay in His word today and forever.
There is no other way to get rid of an addiction (food or other addiction), but to renew your mind truly to the Word of God. You have got to change your thinking. I mean really do it. I mean really, no... I mean really change your mind. It's not about just knowing scriptures, but praying them and meditation on them until they start speaking to you. Then making CHANGES with the power that comes from the Holy Spirit as you mix action with the Word of God. The Word~ Until it bubbles up inside of you and spill out and into your heart (spirit man). I am a spirit. God designed my spirit (human spirit) to hunger and thirst after Him. He made us to fellowship with Him. That is what we were designed to do. If we do not do this, we will fill ourselves with junk-whether junk food, food, t.v., drugs, alcohol, needing praise from others, people pleasers, cigarettes, working too much, sex, backbiting and slander, starting strife, partying, fornication, adultery, lack of discipline, shopping, obsessive behaviors, hoarding. Whatever, Your, thing is. It is your human attempt to fill the space in your spirit that is designed to be filled with Love or God.
I want God/Love to fill my space so that I will be able to take on anything. We have so many sayings and "fake" religious beliefs. Stuff that I see and thought I knew is not even in the bible or was misquoted or taken out of context completely. We put so much and require so much of the responsibility of knowing God on the pastor or preacher. God has given us just as much grace and mercy and authority as our pastors. We don't need him (pastor) to go to God for us. We have to go to God ourselves. When we don't understand why something we are believing for doesn't work, we start to reason with our stupid human"religion". We say things, like I guess it wasn't in God's will. His will is spelled out for us. We have to keep his commandments. WE CAN DO IT. Jesus was our example, but one thing about Him. He spent time with the father on a daily basis.
For all these years, I have made something so easy; so difficult. God is easy. He loves me. I chose to stay in His word today and forever.
THE WORD WORKS! IT WORKS!
I was making my confessions and thinking on good things and meditating on the scripture and readings, the book of Jonah from this summer, the scriptures from the last two and a half years just everything God has been dealing with me on for the last seven years of my life. AND TODAY...It all came together. Why today? My ground is good. In Mark 4, the word has to be sown on good ground and my ground is good. Every other time, nothing took root. I would eat the seed or let something or someone take the seed or it would get planted, but not deep enough. I have been guilty of eating my seeds. I learned the lesson a while back, "Don't eat the seed!" but I have still been holding the seeds. Afraid to plant them, afraid to let them go and afraid to trust God with the seeds. But it hit me today...again like a ton of bricks. My ground can always get better, but today it is good enough for the seeds to be planted deep. I saw so much today.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Pre-birthday from Daddy Fred and the boys
Hello World,
I had the cutest pre-birthday celebration yesterday. Bug and Fred along with a little slobber and love from Nicholas decided to give me an early birthday. Bug and I made a chocolate cake. He wanted to put princesses on it, but I didn't think that was a good idea. He went out in the backyard and picked out some "flowers" (dandelion weeds) and asked to put then in a vase and than he kissed me on the jaw. Fred purchased my iPad 2 that I have been hesitating to purchase for the last year. It is awesome, just like my phone only bigger. The cake was great! The love from the boys and Fred was the best part of all. My actual birthday is not until March 1st, but what a great early gift and the perfect day to celebrate, Sunday.
Nicholas stopped his scooting this week and is a full crawler. He does not put his right knee down, but he gets where he needs to go. Awe....tears, my little man is growing up. With today being the 27th, he is nine months old. Three more short months till his 1st birthday. Time has flown by. He is so ready to run around with his big brother.
Healthy wise:
I still have not become consistent with anything. I am probably larger today that I was when I started in 2009. No consistency with healthy eating or exercise. I have not been managing my stress well and have been eating as a replacement. I will do well and then go back to doing nothing. Yesterday, I did walk around the block as bug rode his bike and then we kicked the soccer ball in the backyard for about thirty minutes. So I will count that as "moving" for the day. Honestly, I am still waiting on the perfect time to begin all the while realizing that that perfect time does not exist. I'll start tomorrow when this happens or next week when this happens then I can do blank.
I have been getting better at saying my confessions on a daily or almost daily basis. I have done better with that. I am working on consistency in this area. Did I tell you about my confessions? Look, I wrote about 12 confessions last week for some areas that I would like to gain more faith in God in and also to help renew my mind to somethings. One of them is, "I forgive quickly and often so that my Father in heaven will forgive me". Well, I had a revelation of understanding this week for a situation that I had been so less understanding about and I was able to say of that is why that happened. Praise God for his mercy and His precious word that breaks yokes and releases burdens. I have also been confessing my trust in Him to be my shield of protection and to assist with my daily needs. As a lifelong control freak, this is a big challenge to let go and let God, but a healthy and whole me is going to emerge.
Talk later. I have a busy week. I hope to write before the weekend.
I had the cutest pre-birthday celebration yesterday. Bug and Fred along with a little slobber and love from Nicholas decided to give me an early birthday. Bug and I made a chocolate cake. He wanted to put princesses on it, but I didn't think that was a good idea. He went out in the backyard and picked out some "flowers" (dandelion weeds) and asked to put then in a vase and than he kissed me on the jaw. Fred purchased my iPad 2 that I have been hesitating to purchase for the last year. It is awesome, just like my phone only bigger. The cake was great! The love from the boys and Fred was the best part of all. My actual birthday is not until March 1st, but what a great early gift and the perfect day to celebrate, Sunday.
Nicholas stopped his scooting this week and is a full crawler. He does not put his right knee down, but he gets where he needs to go. Awe....tears, my little man is growing up. With today being the 27th, he is nine months old. Three more short months till his 1st birthday. Time has flown by. He is so ready to run around with his big brother.
Healthy wise:
I still have not become consistent with anything. I am probably larger today that I was when I started in 2009. No consistency with healthy eating or exercise. I have not been managing my stress well and have been eating as a replacement. I will do well and then go back to doing nothing. Yesterday, I did walk around the block as bug rode his bike and then we kicked the soccer ball in the backyard for about thirty minutes. So I will count that as "moving" for the day. Honestly, I am still waiting on the perfect time to begin all the while realizing that that perfect time does not exist. I'll start tomorrow when this happens or next week when this happens then I can do blank.
I have been getting better at saying my confessions on a daily or almost daily basis. I have done better with that. I am working on consistency in this area. Did I tell you about my confessions? Look, I wrote about 12 confessions last week for some areas that I would like to gain more faith in God in and also to help renew my mind to somethings. One of them is, "I forgive quickly and often so that my Father in heaven will forgive me". Well, I had a revelation of understanding this week for a situation that I had been so less understanding about and I was able to say of that is why that happened. Praise God for his mercy and His precious word that breaks yokes and releases burdens. I have also been confessing my trust in Him to be my shield of protection and to assist with my daily needs. As a lifelong control freak, this is a big challenge to let go and let God, but a healthy and whole me is going to emerge.
Talk later. I have a busy week. I hope to write before the weekend.
Monday, February 20, 2012
B-Ball Buggie; out of blubberville....for good?
Saturday was so fun. We wrapped up bitty basketball at the Olive Branch YMCA. Bug received his completion trophy and he has been so confident in everything ever since he got it. He went through the garage with no problem and even asked to open it. He is not afraid to sleep in his own bed as long as he has his trophy with him. He has eaten all of his food. Man, I didn't realize a trophy could do so much for him in such a short amount of time. I signed him up for T-Ball in Horn Lake.
Nick is crawling now and saying "ma-ma" and "da-da". It appears to be meaningful. Especially when he uses "ma-ma". He doesn't have a name for Bug yet. He just yells at him when he wants his attention. He watches him like a hawk. He can't wait to start walking and playing with his big brother.
I took my dad to the airport yesterday.He is going to handle a little insurance business. I wish he would look for a place to live there. He wants out of Clarksdale and has for some time. I think it would be good for him.
I have decided to stop my insanity. Yes, I have been doing the same things, not making true changes and really truly waiting on different results. That, my dear World, is the definition of insanity. As a colleague revealed, I did not really want to let go because the struggle has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. YAY!, I think I have shrunk myself (plus the help of friends and family). This go round. EVERYTHING will be different. I have a renewed mind that continues to be renewed and I have the keys to permanent success and it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the physical (at this point). If I had truly grasped what God was telling me about this in 2009 and 2010, I would not be back here in blubberville. MOTIVES! I know how to get there from where I am today, now, right now and never return. Feelings can't be the driving force. I lacked true understanding of this. I can't feel like I need to do the right thing. I have to just do it and keep doing it. I now realize that there will never be a time when I am not tempted to go back to my old habits and if I do I don't have to throw in the towel. The spirit of lust never gets enough. Just when you think, 'oh, I'll start again tomorrow" you end up in the same boat because whatever led you to give in today and yesterday will be there to make you give in tomorrow.
The woman that works in the office next to mine has done every weight loss program it is and had her stomach stapled in the 80s and is still two hundred pounds overweight. She never got rid of the addiction, just her weight. We have to walk in our freedom. When Jesus set us free, that gave us the power to resist, it didn't mean that we would not keep getting tempted. I guess we will be tempted with one thing or another till we "check outta here", but to remain in the same place for years under the same temptations, getting into and out of the same trouble doesn't make sense and shows a huge lack of progress.
Nick is crawling now and saying "ma-ma" and "da-da". It appears to be meaningful. Especially when he uses "ma-ma". He doesn't have a name for Bug yet. He just yells at him when he wants his attention. He watches him like a hawk. He can't wait to start walking and playing with his big brother.
I took my dad to the airport yesterday.He is going to handle a little insurance business. I wish he would look for a place to live there. He wants out of Clarksdale and has for some time. I think it would be good for him.
I have decided to stop my insanity. Yes, I have been doing the same things, not making true changes and really truly waiting on different results. That, my dear World, is the definition of insanity. As a colleague revealed, I did not really want to let go because the struggle has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. YAY!, I think I have shrunk myself (plus the help of friends and family). This go round. EVERYTHING will be different. I have a renewed mind that continues to be renewed and I have the keys to permanent success and it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the physical (at this point). If I had truly grasped what God was telling me about this in 2009 and 2010, I would not be back here in blubberville. MOTIVES! I know how to get there from where I am today, now, right now and never return. Feelings can't be the driving force. I lacked true understanding of this. I can't feel like I need to do the right thing. I have to just do it and keep doing it. I now realize that there will never be a time when I am not tempted to go back to my old habits and if I do I don't have to throw in the towel. The spirit of lust never gets enough. Just when you think, 'oh, I'll start again tomorrow" you end up in the same boat because whatever led you to give in today and yesterday will be there to make you give in tomorrow.
The woman that works in the office next to mine has done every weight loss program it is and had her stomach stapled in the 80s and is still two hundred pounds overweight. She never got rid of the addiction, just her weight. We have to walk in our freedom. When Jesus set us free, that gave us the power to resist, it didn't mean that we would not keep getting tempted. I guess we will be tempted with one thing or another till we "check outta here", but to remain in the same place for years under the same temptations, getting into and out of the same trouble doesn't make sense and shows a huge lack of progress.
Friday, February 17, 2012
No Exercise!
I did not do one day of exercise. I mean, not-one-day. I want to go to the strength training class tomorrow, but Fred has to be at work early and take Bug to speech class. Man, I guess I am going to have to stick to the old DVDs and check and see what Netflix has for working out.
This has been a pretty good week. I have to miss two semi-important engagements this week due to some other obligations that needed to be taken care of. The engagements that I did participate in kept me from keeping my gym appointment.
I was reminded a lot about the "heart" of a man this week. The heart or Spirit man is developed by feeding it the Word of God. So I have been working on devoting time to study. God satisfies our mouths with good things, so that our youth is renewed like the Eagles.
I must admit. I am getting older and it is taking me a lot longer to "get it together".
This has been a pretty good week. I have to miss two semi-important engagements this week due to some other obligations that needed to be taken care of. The engagements that I did participate in kept me from keeping my gym appointment.
I was reminded a lot about the "heart" of a man this week. The heart or Spirit man is developed by feeding it the Word of God. So I have been working on devoting time to study. God satisfies our mouths with good things, so that our youth is renewed like the Eagles.
I must admit. I am getting older and it is taking me a lot longer to "get it together".
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Awesome Week!
This was an organized and very productive week for me. Now mind you, I had a few challenges at the business this week, but that is how it is when you are a business owner. But other than that this was a great week. I worked out consistently and I ate well until yesterday...I had a breakdown. Brownies from the local bakery..."walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh" Galations 5. That is what I have been meditating on this week as well as Psalms 55:22. I decided not to listen to what I had been confessing all week and gave in to them. Good is not the word for those brownies. Great was the word!
I was offered the position of a lifetime this week by one of my mentors. I said, Yes, Yes, and Yes again. I can't wait to get started, but it won't be until this summer. It will fit well with my schedule. I will get it done early in the morning and will be right back in my office before noon. God is good!
There are so many things going on in 2012. I don't know if I will be able to do them all. I have several conference that I want to attend for my professional life and then there are personal reunions that are coming up this year. All of which have a cost and I must remain on my 2012 budget. I'll have to pick and choose.
Nicholas has been teething and has a cold. He ran a fever 103.7 for about 3 days this week. The fever would break with tylenol and motrin, but it would return. We took him to the doctor. No infections or signs of anything that needed to be treated with prescription medication. Today, he is still fussy and has more of a runny nose that he did a few days ago. I don't know if I should take him back in or not. Bug is off to his "Bitty" basketball league in Olive Branch. It's a basketball training camp for kids ages 2-4. He loves it. I have been attending, but since it is cold and raining today, I did not want to take Nicholas out. He will do a great job today.
I started on the introduction to my manuscript. I am not ready to call it a book yet, no title or outline. I am just writing right now. It feel good. That's my update for this week. I will write later.
Off to do my in home workout. Arms and abs...
I was offered the position of a lifetime this week by one of my mentors. I said, Yes, Yes, and Yes again. I can't wait to get started, but it won't be until this summer. It will fit well with my schedule. I will get it done early in the morning and will be right back in my office before noon. God is good!
There are so many things going on in 2012. I don't know if I will be able to do them all. I have several conference that I want to attend for my professional life and then there are personal reunions that are coming up this year. All of which have a cost and I must remain on my 2012 budget. I'll have to pick and choose.
Nicholas has been teething and has a cold. He ran a fever 103.7 for about 3 days this week. The fever would break with tylenol and motrin, but it would return. We took him to the doctor. No infections or signs of anything that needed to be treated with prescription medication. Today, he is still fussy and has more of a runny nose that he did a few days ago. I don't know if I should take him back in or not. Bug is off to his "Bitty" basketball league in Olive Branch. It's a basketball training camp for kids ages 2-4. He loves it. I have been attending, but since it is cold and raining today, I did not want to take Nicholas out. He will do a great job today.
I started on the introduction to my manuscript. I am not ready to call it a book yet, no title or outline. I am just writing right now. It feel good. That's my update for this week. I will write later.
Off to do my in home workout. Arms and abs...
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Motivated
I have been my only hindrance. No more! Move out to my way, Mia. I am ready to begin writing my book. What am I waiting for. I have four or more books inside me. I have started to write and then I would feel that, "Oh, you don't have what it takes." I know I have mentioned it before. Well, I am waiting on the right credentials to produce a work that can be counted as credible, but I have noticed that a lot of books about nutrition and health are written by regular people. It is just their opinion. Those who like the book say so; those who don't like the book; say so. That is okay!!!
So, I am up early to begin my master piece.
So, I am up early to begin my master piece.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Faith Up!
Okay, I am so over myself today. I guess, I just needed some time to vent. God wouldn't let me be mad at Him too long. He quickly showed how good He is and how I need to trust Him. Well Lord, I do and I am sorry for being mad. I am okay today. I am continuing to study the book of Mark and reading my proverbs and psalms. My meditation scripture today was Psalms 55:22...so today and everyday, I cast my cares upon You and You will sustain me and will not suffer me to be moved.
Tomorrow, I hit the gym with my motivational scriptures.
Guess what...to show how great He is... Fred asked Bug what he did at school today and he said, "I blowed bubbles and painted." I looked at Fred. I couldn't believe it. Praise God.
My faith is building up.
My healthy life journey (and a journey it is):
30 minute walk tomorrow and arm work with free weights.
I am going to sign up for an upcoming 5k, one that is 9-12 weeks away. Hopefully, I will be able to get with a running group. I missed the deadline to register with the SIMS, so I will have to find another group. Anyway, off to prepare for tomorrow. I am so glad, that the Word of God can pick you up when you are down and give you the motivation and confidence to know that God will always come through if you BELIEVE.
Night-Night!!
Tomorrow, I hit the gym with my motivational scriptures.
Guess what...to show how great He is... Fred asked Bug what he did at school today and he said, "I blowed bubbles and painted." I looked at Fred. I couldn't believe it. Praise God.
My faith is building up.
My healthy life journey (and a journey it is):
30 minute walk tomorrow and arm work with free weights.
I am going to sign up for an upcoming 5k, one that is 9-12 weeks away. Hopefully, I will be able to get with a running group. I missed the deadline to register with the SIMS, so I will have to find another group. Anyway, off to prepare for tomorrow. I am so glad, that the Word of God can pick you up when you are down and give you the motivation and confidence to know that God will always come through if you BELIEVE.
Night-Night!!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
How to believe God
This entry has nothing to do with health. I guess it does. Anyway, here goes.
I am in a dark place right now. I started, but I have now given up. I can go on with my daily events, but my heart is heavy. I am upset about my son's inability to understand and process basic information. It is amazing how in some instances he is just like a normal four year old. Then you ask him what he did at his uncle's house and he can't tell you. No ability to engage in complex conversations. He should be able to do this at four years old. He has the conversational skills of a 30 month old. Tears...... On the positive side, he is getting better. With therapy, maturity, and what Fred and I do at home with him, he has gotten better.
I watched this video about believing in God for your children. The text was from Mark 9:14-32. It was about how Jesus healed a boy but first has asked the Father of the boy if he believed. Jesus said to him. If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believe. He answered Jesus by saying I believe: help my unbelief. I am asking God to help my unbelief. I want to know certainly that God will answered my prayers. My faith is weak. The only way to make it strong is to stay in the Word, but I am so angry that I do not want to go to God. I guess right now, I am upset with Him. Not only because of my son, but because I feel that some of the things that I am suffering from now is because of mistakes that I made. I should have never undergone radioactive iodine treatment. I set myself up for permanent dependence on the medical profession and they don't have the answer. They are clueless. I didn't know that I could have gone into remission with Hyperthyroidism by just eating right and getting off of so much salt (this was years ago, I was 24 years old). So this procedure left me hypothyroid and dependent on hormone replacement. So here it is almost nine years later, I am still suffering from hormone imbalance. I am angry about that. I have difficulty forgiving myself for such a lack of research on the matter. Mind you I had this procedure in 2003. I was fresh out of graduate school and I just wanted to feel better. Recently, after I had Nicholas, my levels have been off and my muscles are stiff as a result. I have trouble exercising. It makes me upset. I should be at my healthy weight by now. My Nick-Nick is almost eight months old and I am nowhere near healthy. Did my thyroid imbalance negatively affect Frederick's language and cognitive development? Maybe, it did. Did the radiation in my system from this procedure I had four years before his birth affect his development? Maybe. Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief. Help me to forgive, free me from my spiritual debt. Help thou my unbelief.
I have asked God for things and I get them. It is because I believe that I can have them. For some reason, I feel that I don't deserve His mercy in these areas. It is funny how I can believe God in some areas, but have difficulty believing God in other areas.
I want a new thyroid. I want my son's mind to be on target, with intellect, language skills and maturity that is age appropriate. Lord, as you helped the father and the boy with the dumb and deaf spirit. Help me and my son. Help my unbelief.
I am in a dark place right now. I started, but I have now given up. I can go on with my daily events, but my heart is heavy. I am upset about my son's inability to understand and process basic information. It is amazing how in some instances he is just like a normal four year old. Then you ask him what he did at his uncle's house and he can't tell you. No ability to engage in complex conversations. He should be able to do this at four years old. He has the conversational skills of a 30 month old. Tears...... On the positive side, he is getting better. With therapy, maturity, and what Fred and I do at home with him, he has gotten better.
I watched this video about believing in God for your children. The text was from Mark 9:14-32. It was about how Jesus healed a boy but first has asked the Father of the boy if he believed. Jesus said to him. If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believe. He answered Jesus by saying I believe: help my unbelief. I am asking God to help my unbelief. I want to know certainly that God will answered my prayers. My faith is weak. The only way to make it strong is to stay in the Word, but I am so angry that I do not want to go to God. I guess right now, I am upset with Him. Not only because of my son, but because I feel that some of the things that I am suffering from now is because of mistakes that I made. I should have never undergone radioactive iodine treatment. I set myself up for permanent dependence on the medical profession and they don't have the answer. They are clueless. I didn't know that I could have gone into remission with Hyperthyroidism by just eating right and getting off of so much salt (this was years ago, I was 24 years old). So this procedure left me hypothyroid and dependent on hormone replacement. So here it is almost nine years later, I am still suffering from hormone imbalance. I am angry about that. I have difficulty forgiving myself for such a lack of research on the matter. Mind you I had this procedure in 2003. I was fresh out of graduate school and I just wanted to feel better. Recently, after I had Nicholas, my levels have been off and my muscles are stiff as a result. I have trouble exercising. It makes me upset. I should be at my healthy weight by now. My Nick-Nick is almost eight months old and I am nowhere near healthy. Did my thyroid imbalance negatively affect Frederick's language and cognitive development? Maybe, it did. Did the radiation in my system from this procedure I had four years before his birth affect his development? Maybe. Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief. Help me to forgive, free me from my spiritual debt. Help thou my unbelief.
I have asked God for things and I get them. It is because I believe that I can have them. For some reason, I feel that I don't deserve His mercy in these areas. It is funny how I can believe God in some areas, but have difficulty believing God in other areas.
I want a new thyroid. I want my son's mind to be on target, with intellect, language skills and maturity that is age appropriate. Lord, as you helped the father and the boy with the dumb and deaf spirit. Help me and my son. Help my unbelief.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
It has been a week and I am still enjoying my Christmas. We had a great time. Fred and Nicholas loved all of their toys.
Wow, It's a new year. Boy, was 2011 a tough one. Great, but tough. I look forward to the lessons of 2012. I, of course have my year all planned out, but you know that my plans will only be a rough draft of what will actually happen. Developing temperance is my goal Getting back into tip top shape is my goal. Completing a 1/2 marathon. I prayed to God for a stronger desire for Him and His ways. Welcome 2012...you are full of opportunities.
Wow, It's a new year. Boy, was 2011 a tough one. Great, but tough. I look forward to the lessons of 2012. I, of course have my year all planned out, but you know that my plans will only be a rough draft of what will actually happen. Developing temperance is my goal Getting back into tip top shape is my goal. Completing a 1/2 marathon. I prayed to God for a stronger desire for Him and His ways. Welcome 2012...you are full of opportunities.
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November 2011