Slowly starting slowly and even slower

Slowly starting slowly to get back into my health kick.  This week, I called a friend and ex co-worker who recently had a baby.  She informed me of her postponement of exercising until after her 6 weeks of maternity leave. I may follow her lead. This week I added lots of great springtime and summertime fruit to my diet. I didn't exercise like I planned because my pelvis bone still hurts especially at night and maybe I am still a little "pregnant lazy" and don't want to do it. Not sure which one is my excuse this week. Anyway, I am working on getting my "mind right".  Its funny how you think you have it all planned out and your mind and body are just not on the same page. Me, being the overachiever that I am (as my Nashville friends informed me of this week )wants my body to get on the same page as my conscious mind.  

Nicholas is 4 weeks old today. He has shown his increasing alertness by smiling more, attempting to reach and even vocalizing. He is the smartest baby in the world (says his mommy, I think she may be bias). Bug is going to see the Cars 2 movie this afternoon with "Daddy Fred". I would love to go with them, if for nothing but to see the look on Buggie's face when the movie starts. He loves lightning McQueen and the whole Cars cast. This is great for Daddy Fred and Buggie to get some father-son time. With Nicholas getting a lot of the attention around here lately, it will be good for Buggie, a time to feel special.

Oh, I have been working on getting more tech savvy. I have always considered technology as something extra, not my life. I am going to keep this philosophy, but I am going to use technology more in my life. Fred is already way ahead of me. He knows how to do everything tech related. 

Well, I had better grab my shower while Nicholas is sleeping. I will write later.

3 weeks with Nicholas; slow start

Boy, Nicholas is growing fast. He has been in the world 3 weeks already. Can you believe it?  He loves to smile. As soon as you talk to him, he stares at you deeply; then  he smiles the biggest smile ever. The more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him.
How precious :-)

This week has been a little tough. I have not had my mind on exercising, hopefully, next week will be better. I know that it will take a while to get adjusted. My sleep schedule is off track and Nicholas isn't on a schedule so it may take a while to get my routine together. I will have patience with myself. I have plenty of time to get back into shape.

I have been searching the Internet and looking in my nursing books to see how much exercise I can do without drying my milk supply. Most of the literate state that I should only participate in mild to moderate forms of exercise. Too much may compromise my milk supply. That may mean postponing St. Jude this year. I want to nurse for at least 9 months and Nicholas will only be 7 months this December. I am okay with that.

Finding Motivation!

Today, I went through my closet. I wanted to get an inventory of what I can possibly wear now. I am so between sizes. All of my maternity clothes are now too big, but the clothes before are way too small. I have been trying to get more motivated to reach my goals.

So, I put my favorite "goal size" jeans on the hook in my bathroom. I will see these jeans everyday. Motivation! Motivation! Motivation!

Nicholas' First Doctor's visit

Yesterday, I got a chance to get out of the house after being locked in for two weeks. I went to the Memphis Children's Clinic-Southaven for Nicholas' well baby check up. He is growing just fine and the doctor stated that he was a healthy baby and that everything looks great. He has gained two pounds and 1/2  an inch.

He continues to sleep often and breastfeeds well just like babies do. He is so precious.

Back on Track

Well, I have officially lost 21 pounds in two weeks. I should be right at the point where the fat and the baby fat separate. I have lost all of the fluid that was on my legs and feet. On Monday, I will record my weight and start from there. I have been developing my plan to get back to my goal weight and clothing size. I am really excited about the challenge. Monday, I am starting with my walking and organizing my menu. This time, I am really going to focus on having a healthy system. I want healthy blood and a healthy digestive tract. So, I really have to study what is good for me and  not just focus on what will keep me "small". So, I am ready to begin.

I must admit that this time there is a sense of freedom. I don't feel like I will fail as I have over the years of dealing with this eating disorder and self image disorder. I don't have the total numbing fear that I won't keep it off or that I am going to let myself and others down. That is probably the best feeling in the world. The year of 2009-2010, with the dedication to reading the Bible and seeking God's freedom set me free and even though I gained weight for Nicholas' birth and all that comes with bringing a life into the world, I never lost my freedom from the bondage that I had been in for the majority of my life. I have always felt that all of my problems will be over when I get to a certain size, people will like me or forgive me or maybe I will be more interesting once I get to size "?". I don't feel like that anymore. It feels good to be free from that feeling. I have accepted who I am.  I do not wish to fix the past or forget the past or expect things from those in my past. I focus on the future and my wonderful husband and our future and the future of my beautiful boys, the future of my business and future business ventures.

I learned a lot today about the digestive tract. If the digestive tract is on track then your whole body will be healthy. Basically, you are what you eat. How many times have we heard this in life. You are what you eat.

Nicholas' First Week in the World

It was a great first week with Nicholas. Breastfeeding is going well. He is a natural feeder. No problems at all. Of course he wakes every hour to eat at night, but that is what babies do. Bug is working hard to get used to everything. I can still sense that he feels a little left out and jealous, but he is going to do just fine. Nicholas is spoiled rotten already. He has to be on my chest or Fred's chest at all times. I think that it is so sweet.  He has the sweetest cry and the most beautiful unique eyes. His smile is inviting and he loves to rub noses. He is so smart. I can tell that he is thinking really deeply. What a precious baby!

Fred has been here to help. He makes dinner, cleans, and gives me a break when he can. He took Bug to school every morning and has not needed my help. He is such a great daddy.

I know we have a long way to go before things get easier, but I am even enjoying the sleepless nights and diaper changes because I know that soon Nicholas will be 3yrs old then 4,5,....13....18. So I am going to enjoy the good, the bad, and the ugly. For both of my boys..I am going to take it slow and watch closely.

We have had lots of visitors this week and look forward to more this weekend and next week. I am still sore and extremely tired and so is Fred, but life is good. I am so blessed to have such a great family.

Happy First Week Birthday, Nicholas. Welcome to the Kimmons family.