I had a good week. It was a little difficult to get things going since Fred was on vacation. It was really, really difficult to get up, get Bug ready and then get myself off to work while Fred slept in. I should have taken the whole week off with him.
This week, I dealt with the emotion of loss. A former co-worker of mine lost her father the morning of the marathon I'd been training for. It was so ironic that I was running for an organization that supports research for people with the same condition that her father succomb to. I thought of him at every mile. I though of her as well. I prayed for her strength and even smiled when I thought of the countless times she spoke of her father and how they fixed buses and cars together. I know she is going to miss him and I pray for her to continue to be strengthened by the love and comfort that only God can give.
My dad tried his best to be supportive of my race completion this weekend. I don't know why I wanted to hear him say "good job" so bad, but he didn't. He did sound happy for me, so that's a big step. He made a few unsupportive comments, but I was too happy to let it bother me. When looking at loss, I realize that even though I have "daddy issues", I still am very glad that he is here. I am thankful for what he did do for me. He taught us about God, he fed me, got me into school and made finishing important, and he gave us clothes and lots of other things and moments oh, and even some good advice at times.. So thanks dad.
I took off this week from exercising, just to rest my knees totally. I want to be ready for my life as a runner. SIM is participating in the NAAPC 5k race tomorrow, but my staff and I have a training to attend in Memphis. Yes, on a Saturday! An in-service in Memphis, on a Saturday. That interrupts my running time, but I will be okay. I guess I have to be.
I started writing my book yesterday. Getting that first paragraph was difficult. I started getting overwhelmed with emotion when I thought of some of my early childhood memories. This is going to be a challenging task. I know that it will give me a voice that I never had or will never get a chance to have. It will help me talk to my past and the people in it.
I have been eating well this week, without exercise, I probably have maintained my current weight. That's okay too. I'll write tomorrow.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Country Music 1/2 Marathon Complete!
Hello World,
So I got back to the room really late, Fred helped me get my clothes and other running gear prepared so that all I had to do was take a warm bath and head to the bus.
The next day, I hung out with Fred and Lil Fred. We walked down town, ate in the hotel. Before checkout, my friend from graduate school, Jevetta and her husband and son came to the hotel to see us off. She looked great and so did her family. It was good to see her.
The best thing about this whole experience is that my husband is so motivated to join me in my healthy journey. He has dedicated himself to getting on a healthy path this week while he is on vacation. My brother is going to train to run a 1/2 marathon. My mom and sister are planning to get more healthy. My dad even mentioned working on getting more healthy. That's a great feeling when the love you have for yourself and your goals for a healthy life spreads to those you love. The journey continues....what goals will I set next. Maybe...staying healthy during pregnancy....who knows??? We will see:)
I came back from Nashville yesterday. I had a great time. I'll start with Friday...Here goes. I met the TNT at Lisa's house. She is a wonderful artist. I waited for Mike, who is a friend of their family, and was our driver. He has a really nice truck. I think it was a yukon or something like that. There was room enough for all of us. We watched movies and talked. This made the ride seem so short. We were at the Doubletree in no time. Once we got to the Hotel, we checked in (by the way Doubletree has great chocolate chip and walnut cookies...yummy), walked to the expo. Alexis, Dennise and I ate lunch in the hotel restaurant before the expo. At the expo, the runners pick up their bibs, shoe chips, t-shirts and race information packets. The expo had tons of vendors selling running related products. I didn't get too crazy. I just bought a cap, sunglasses and a magazine subscription.
After that, we went to our rooms to relax and wait for the Team In Training inspiration dinner. I went to my room hoping that Fred and Bug would make it in time to attend the dinner. I really wanted them to come and experience as much as they could with me. They made it just in time. The dinner started at 6:00pm. Fred and bug met me and the rest of the team at 5:30pm in the lobby. I was so excited to see the both of them. The dinner was amazing they served two types of pasta, rolls, salad. They had several speakers who were Leukemia and Lymphoma survivors. One of the survivors had run several marathons and has raised over 16,000 this season alone. One young lady wrote a song for her cousin who lost her battle with leukemia called 'dancing with Jesus'. IT was a beautiful song and she sung the song beautifully. All of us were in tears (even the men). After dinner, we met as a team to go over what we needed to know for the big day. The officials were preparing us for inclement weather because of all the tornado and thunderstorm warnings. That day was so beautiful, it was hard to imagine that such bad weather was expected for less than 24 hours later. We were instructed to be at the buses at 4:45 am. I actually slept well, but I couldn't shake the nausea that I had been feeling all week. The anxiety and excitement of reaching this goal that I had worked so hard for was getting to me physically.
So I got back to the room really late, Fred helped me get my clothes and other running gear prepared so that all I had to do was take a warm bath and head to the bus. The next morning, I woke up at about 3:30am. Fred was just as nervous as I was. He told me that he had a dream that I was late for the start. This dream caused him to wake up every hour and look at the clock. Isn't he so supportive. This ment just as much to him as it did to me. What a great man! Anyway, I got up ate my cliff bar, drank some gatorade and headed to the lobby to meet the team. We rode the bus and headed to the starting line.
There were so many people. There were at least 20,000 people standing in front of us and 15,000 more were behind us in different corrals. Our corral started at about 7:30 am. There were so many characters running the race: a woman with a chicken hat, Elvis, hoola hoopers, jugglers. The locals were serving food on their lawns to the runners. Some people had beer, coffee, oranges, bananas to serve the runners. BUT THE HILLS WERE TOUGH. The whole coarse was up and down hills. At mile 10, my right calf started to cramp up. George and I stopped to stretch out the calf. And we were back on track...off and running.
The sun was out, the wind was blowing and everything looked beautiful. I had a full marathon in me. I am going to finish this thing my way. I was feeling great. At mile 11, which was the full/half marathon split (this is the point where those who are running 26.2 miles separate from the ones running 13.1 miles.) The clouds were becoming dark, the wind was starting to blow a little harder. The police officers told all full marathon runners (they could tell by the color of our bibs) to take the half marathon coarse. So that means I could not try the full. I was disappointed, but I was also so proud of myself. So with that said, we only had to run 2 more miles. We ran to the end. The finish line was at LP stadium where the Titan play. All of the TNT coaches and mentors were there to cheer me across the finish. What a great feeling! We took time to be photographed. Some of the volunteers began to hand out medals, based on my bib color they handed me a full marathon medal. I asked politely if I could have a 1/2 marathon medal. They gave me one. I only want a full medal when I have actually completed a full. So that is the end of my journey to completing my first 1/2 marathon. There will be plenty more races. I can't wait for the next one. I finished before the other team members. They got caught in the rain. I was on the bus back to the hotel before the rain started. After the race as I was walking to the TNT bus, I still had the nausea that I had had all week. I thought that was nerves and anxiety. Maybe its something else....we will see :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Presentation..off to Nashville
The presentation at Ole Miss went well. The students came to me afterwards and told me how informative and helpful it was. They asked tons of questions, gave comments and were totally into the "talk". I am glad that I did it and I can't wait until the next time. Who knew, Mia, a public speaker. I know that it wasn't all me. I prayed that God would speak through me and give me a message for the students and that is what He did.
Anyway, I am up late tonight trying to finish packing. I am a little sad because Fred is not going to ride down there with me. I was okay with it, but I want him to take me. I'll get over it soon.
Well, it's off to Nashville...TNT is leaving at 7am. We are meeting at Lisa's house in midtown. I'll let you know how everything goes in a couple of days.
Anyway, I am up late tonight trying to finish packing. I am a little sad because Fred is not going to ride down there with me. I was okay with it, but I want him to take me. I'll get over it soon.
Well, it's off to Nashville...TNT is leaving at 7am. We are meeting at Lisa's house in midtown. I'll let you know how everything goes in a couple of days.
Rain, Rain Go Away, A lesson for the students
I am so glad that I went to my WW meeting on Tuesday. YES, I gained weight, but I didn't let that discourage me. I went in the meeting with a positive attitude. The topic was "Making the most of your weekends". This is a big challenge for most of us. We want to "cut loose" as they say on the weekends, but that time makes up 1/3 of the year. The weekend is the time of great escape. We have worked all week, got up early, got prepared, got stressed out from our bosses...and yes..my boss is a monster (LOL!). So we were instructed to remain 'structured' during the weekends and continue to plan our meals and activities. One of the members suggested finding new ways to reward ourselves that don't center around food. That was a great reminder for me.
I am at the point in this journey that is very difficult. I am very close to being a healthy weight. I have become a little complacent..."I got this" I tell myself. I am not as strict as I have been previously and I have even learned how to "cheat". Yes! I said it! "Cheat". I now know how much of something I can pig out on and not gain weight or at least how not to let it show on the scale. Yes! This part of the road is more difficult that when you first get started. When you first start...you are excited, you do everything right, you don't want to get off track. Now, for me, today, I think I have it under control....yeah right! This weight thing is going to be one of my challenges. I have mentioned it before in previous posts. But it always hits me with the same power packed punch every time I think about it. I AM GOING TO BE MONITORING MY WEIGHT AND WATCHING WHAT I EAT AND MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES MOST OF THE TIME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! I can't take a break. Really to be honest, I have to not eat junk. I can't do it. It seems soooo unfair. There are members in my WW class that can eat cookies and candy and chips. They are able to just eat "just enough". I can't do that. Just a little sets me off every time. Since my knee injury, I have given myself permission to eat a little more..you can have this 'cause you are sad about your knee and the world is so unfair and you have work so hard all of these month and look what happened... yadda,yadda, yadda! That is no excuse. There are tons of marathons and 1/2 marathons all across the country. If I don't finish this one, I can sign up for another. At least now I know what to do and what not to do. Like I have learned and posted previously. Emotions have to get out of the eating equation. This is very difficult to do especially in our society, but it can be done and I will do it and share my experience with others. Food is for fueling the body, not to babysit emotions. Emotions come and go. We have to learn to control them, not let them control us. I realize that this is my cross to bear. Actually, I am quite thankful for this cross. It's a heavy cross, but it could be something else that has a greater stigma. Obesity has its stigma, but not like other challenges. Even though they all (addictions and lifes challenges) come from the same root of shame, self hatred, and unforgiveness, in our society some have a greater stigma.
Anyway, I checked the weather for Nashville on Saturday. Looks like thunderstorms. The funny thing is, Friday is going to be nice. The following Sunday is going to be a nice day. BUT the day of the race they are predicting rain and thunderstorms....Huh! How can I find the positive in that....Here goes..It will make for a cool run. We won't over heat. My knee..well, I won't talk about my knee today. I have taken my knee out of this. It's about my mind, my will to run and compete.
I took the day off from work to focus on my presentation to the class at Ole Miss tonight. I have revamped my whole presentation at the last minute. This is a language disorders class and I was going to talk about identifying disorders and....blah! blah! blah! They hear that all the time. They are going to hear that when I leave. They are going to hear that stuff until they graduate. I have decided to talk about The SLP as a business owner. This is something that I wish someone had shared with me while I was in school. I hope that they will get a desire to become private practitioners or even independent contractors. SLPs have so many settings to choose from, but not much is said about private practice. I don't mind being the one to share it. Its challenging and lonely at times, but the AUTONOMY of practice is worth it.
I'll write tonight to let you know how the presentation went. Bye world.
I am at the point in this journey that is very difficult. I am very close to being a healthy weight. I have become a little complacent..."I got this" I tell myself. I am not as strict as I have been previously and I have even learned how to "cheat". Yes! I said it! "Cheat". I now know how much of something I can pig out on and not gain weight or at least how not to let it show on the scale. Yes! This part of the road is more difficult that when you first get started. When you first start...you are excited, you do everything right, you don't want to get off track. Now, for me, today, I think I have it under control....yeah right! This weight thing is going to be one of my challenges. I have mentioned it before in previous posts. But it always hits me with the same power packed punch every time I think about it. I AM GOING TO BE MONITORING MY WEIGHT AND WATCHING WHAT I EAT AND MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES MOST OF THE TIME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! I can't take a break. Really to be honest, I have to not eat junk. I can't do it. It seems soooo unfair. There are members in my WW class that can eat cookies and candy and chips. They are able to just eat "just enough". I can't do that. Just a little sets me off every time. Since my knee injury, I have given myself permission to eat a little more..you can have this 'cause you are sad about your knee and the world is so unfair and you have work so hard all of these month and look what happened... yadda,yadda, yadda! That is no excuse. There are tons of marathons and 1/2 marathons all across the country. If I don't finish this one, I can sign up for another. At least now I know what to do and what not to do. Like I have learned and posted previously. Emotions have to get out of the eating equation. This is very difficult to do especially in our society, but it can be done and I will do it and share my experience with others. Food is for fueling the body, not to babysit emotions. Emotions come and go. We have to learn to control them, not let them control us. I realize that this is my cross to bear. Actually, I am quite thankful for this cross. It's a heavy cross, but it could be something else that has a greater stigma. Obesity has its stigma, but not like other challenges. Even though they all (addictions and lifes challenges) come from the same root of shame, self hatred, and unforgiveness, in our society some have a greater stigma.
Anyway, I checked the weather for Nashville on Saturday. Looks like thunderstorms. The funny thing is, Friday is going to be nice. The following Sunday is going to be a nice day. BUT the day of the race they are predicting rain and thunderstorms....Huh! How can I find the positive in that....Here goes..It will make for a cool run. We won't over heat. My knee..well, I won't talk about my knee today. I have taken my knee out of this. It's about my mind, my will to run and compete.
I took the day off from work to focus on my presentation to the class at Ole Miss tonight. I have revamped my whole presentation at the last minute. This is a language disorders class and I was going to talk about identifying disorders and....blah! blah! blah! They hear that all the time. They are going to hear that when I leave. They are going to hear that stuff until they graduate. I have decided to talk about The SLP as a business owner. This is something that I wish someone had shared with me while I was in school. I hope that they will get a desire to become private practitioners or even independent contractors. SLPs have so many settings to choose from, but not much is said about private practice. I don't mind being the one to share it. Its challenging and lonely at times, but the AUTONOMY of practice is worth it.
I'll write tonight to let you know how the presentation went. Bye world.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Run and Not be weary
Look at this scripture that I heard in a song. I have been listening to this song for a while, but it wasn't until today that I heard it and said, "Hey that speaks directly to my situation and the task ahead.". Check it out.
Isaiah 40:31 KJV
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall RUN, and not be weary; and they shall WALK, and not faint.
Isn't that a great promise for the Lord! I also looked it up in a different version.
Isaiah 40:31 NLT
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
That really spoke to me this morning and I pray it will speak to you as you take this journey of health. There are many bumps in the road. I have been so emotionally up and down these last three weeks since the knee injury that I have not been consistently eating healthy like I have been, but I continue to find ways to encourage myself and refuse to give up. I have my weigh in today and I know that I have not done as well as I should have. It makes me want to not "face the music" or skip the meeting, but I know that the meeting will be exactly what I need to get back on the right track. because Love never fails.
I have purchased a tracker program for my friends to track my progress during the marathon Saturday. they will receive text messages updating them on my mileage during the race. Isn't that neat. I have also started slowly using the checklist that TNT gave us to mentally prepare for the run. I am so ready. Is it Saturday yet?
Isaiah 40:31 KJV
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall RUN, and not be weary; and they shall WALK, and not faint.
Isn't that a great promise for the Lord! I also looked it up in a different version.
Isaiah 40:31 NLT
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
That really spoke to me this morning and I pray it will speak to you as you take this journey of health. There are many bumps in the road. I have been so emotionally up and down these last three weeks since the knee injury that I have not been consistently eating healthy like I have been, but I continue to find ways to encourage myself and refuse to give up. I have my weigh in today and I know that I have not done as well as I should have. It makes me want to not "face the music" or skip the meeting, but I know that the meeting will be exactly what I need to get back on the right track. because Love never fails.
I have purchased a tracker program for my friends to track my progress during the marathon Saturday. they will receive text messages updating them on my mileage during the race. Isn't that neat. I have also started slowly using the checklist that TNT gave us to mentally prepare for the run. I am so ready. Is it Saturday yet?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Joined a New Running group, Ready for Nashville
Today, I got up this morning and met with TNT for the final time before the event. It was a great run this morning. We completed three miles at Shelby Farms. It was an easy run. I must admit, I did feel my knee a little bit. I think the excitement of running today took the pain away. After the run, we went to Starbucks for coffee and a chance to "bond". I drank hot chocolate and ate a slice of banana walnut bread. I don't like coffee at all. I wish I did. I think it is so sophisticated to drink flavored Starbucks coffee. We are going to have a cookout at Lisa's home tomorrow, but I won't be eating. Tomorrow is my day for the master cleanse. I believe this cleanse is especially important since I have the marathon in a week. I need to give tomorrow to receiving God's help to finish.
Anyway, after our TNT meeting. I went to a local church were the Sisters In Motion meeting was being held. I joined the group and committed to being a part of some area runs. So there you have it. I have found a running group that I look forward to participating in. I also have my TNT buddies to run with. So I am ready to be a runner from this point forward.
This week, I am going to Oxford to teach my class on Thursday. I have not completed my presentation as of yet, but I am looking forward to sharing my experience with the students. I hope that I can give them a little insight on the field of Speech-Language Pathology. I will attempt to be finished by Tuesday...definitely by Wednesday night.
I have given my knees to the Lord. He is going to help me get to the finish line. Some things you just have to do and quit crying about it. So I am going to do it. I was watching a documentary about the Lakers today with my husband Fred. I know that I am not a basketball player, but to listen to the heart of those guys even with their injuries made me realize that I have that same passion for the things that I am involved in. They do what they have to do because winning means so much the them. Through Christ I am a winner too. Yep, I win that's what I do. So here I come Nashville get ready for a winner.
Anyway, after our TNT meeting. I went to a local church were the Sisters In Motion meeting was being held. I joined the group and committed to being a part of some area runs. So there you have it. I have found a running group that I look forward to participating in. I also have my TNT buddies to run with. So I am ready to be a runner from this point forward.
This week, I am going to Oxford to teach my class on Thursday. I have not completed my presentation as of yet, but I am looking forward to sharing my experience with the students. I hope that I can give them a little insight on the field of Speech-Language Pathology. I will attempt to be finished by Tuesday...definitely by Wednesday night.
I have given my knees to the Lord. He is going to help me get to the finish line. Some things you just have to do and quit crying about it. So I am going to do it. I was watching a documentary about the Lakers today with my husband Fred. I know that I am not a basketball player, but to listen to the heart of those guys even with their injuries made me realize that I have that same passion for the things that I am involved in. They do what they have to do because winning means so much the them. Through Christ I am a winner too. Yep, I win that's what I do. So here I come Nashville get ready for a winner.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Saturday's Amazement!
I had a great weekend! The weather was great and I felt great. My husband, bug and I got a chance to spend time outside in the yard. The only thing that I didn't get to do of course is run...booooooo.
I was trying to attend a meeting to join this running group that I mentioned in some earlier posts. Since I didn't do the 20 miler Saturday, I was planning on attending the SIM meeting so that I could join them for Saturday morning runs and area races after Nashville. They were supposed to meet all of the new members at Panera bread (trinity commons). I went there and no running group. I went to every area panera bread..no running group meeting. So I contacted the president of the group by email and she was aware of my "not attending the meeting due to my 20 miler on the same day" so she didn't send me the email about the change in venue. She also knew about my knee injury... Jocelyn (a fellow TNT alumnus) is also a member of SIM and told the president about my knee. That brings me great relief that she already knew my situation. So I will attend the next meeting which will be held this coming Saturday. Yeah!
I also went to my old job. I visited some of my patients that I love so dearly. A lot of them still remembered me. I didn't see any of the therapist that I worked with...it was a Saturday, but I saw some of the nurses and CNAs that were there when I was there. They were really stunned at my weight loss. It amazes me at times because although I know that I have lost a lot of weight...I still see "big Mia" sometimes.. I know this is a self esteem issue and I am working on this with God's help, but I guess I have really changed. The change that I see is more on the inside. I have difficulty seeing the outside change. I am sure with time, I will notice the outside more than I do now. I visited my old hair salon too..I walked in and it took them a long time to acknowledge who I was. I REALLY MUST LOOK DIFFERENT!
I went to Germantown yesterday to get a little me time. I went to TJ Maxx to attempt to find a love for clothes shopping...especially now that I am not plus sized and clothes are easier to find. I found a few dresses and tried them on. I liked how I looked, but I continued to "knit pick" every flaw that I found in the dressing room mirror. The stretch marks, discolorations, hanging skin from pregnancy and weight loss..that it just wasn't fun any more. So I put the dresses back and left...
When I returned home Saturday, Fred looked at me with the most loving smile that I have seen from him in a while. Lil' Fred said, "Hey Mama". This is what life is about. They see a beauty about me that I will on day see for myself. They both amaze me.
I was trying to attend a meeting to join this running group that I mentioned in some earlier posts. Since I didn't do the 20 miler Saturday, I was planning on attending the SIM meeting so that I could join them for Saturday morning runs and area races after Nashville. They were supposed to meet all of the new members at Panera bread (trinity commons). I went there and no running group. I went to every area panera bread..no running group meeting. So I contacted the president of the group by email and she was aware of my "not attending the meeting due to my 20 miler on the same day" so she didn't send me the email about the change in venue. She also knew about my knee injury... Jocelyn (a fellow TNT alumnus) is also a member of SIM and told the president about my knee. That brings me great relief that she already knew my situation. So I will attend the next meeting which will be held this coming Saturday. Yeah!
I also went to my old job. I visited some of my patients that I love so dearly. A lot of them still remembered me. I didn't see any of the therapist that I worked with...it was a Saturday, but I saw some of the nurses and CNAs that were there when I was there. They were really stunned at my weight loss. It amazes me at times because although I know that I have lost a lot of weight...I still see "big Mia" sometimes.. I know this is a self esteem issue and I am working on this with God's help, but I guess I have really changed. The change that I see is more on the inside. I have difficulty seeing the outside change. I am sure with time, I will notice the outside more than I do now. I visited my old hair salon too..I walked in and it took them a long time to acknowledge who I was. I REALLY MUST LOOK DIFFERENT!
I went to Germantown yesterday to get a little me time. I went to TJ Maxx to attempt to find a love for clothes shopping...especially now that I am not plus sized and clothes are easier to find. I found a few dresses and tried them on. I liked how I looked, but I continued to "knit pick" every flaw that I found in the dressing room mirror. The stretch marks, discolorations, hanging skin from pregnancy and weight loss..that it just wasn't fun any more. So I put the dresses back and left...
When I returned home Saturday, Fred looked at me with the most loving smile that I have seen from him in a while. Lil' Fred said, "Hey Mama". This is what life is about. They see a beauty about me that I will on day see for myself. They both amaze me.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Physician Visit...a decision made
Yesterday, I found out that the other team member, Amy, changed to the San Diego race and will not run in Nashville due to her injury. Immediately, I called our team leader Lisa to find out what happened. She told me that Amy had gone to the doctor and was told that she probably would not be ready for the race. With this information, she changed to another race that will occur four weeks after Nashville. When I heard this, I was not happy. I wanted to run with my team and the team is falling apart.
I thought about changing to San Diego, but this race costs $2,900 instead of the $2,000 that I haven't even offically raised. I could just pay the money instead of trying to raise it, but I have been selfish enough. I do a lot for my health and my business and Fred wants this 72' television. So, I don't want to spend $1,000 extra dollars for San Diego.
I went to the doctor and he wrote an excuse so that if I can't run on the 24th, I can switch to another race. He checked my knees and stated that he feels that I have overuse injuries. He suggested rest and gave me a prescription for cortizone and naproxen. I don't know if I am up for taking a steroid, but this may help to speed up my recovery. He told me to check back with him in a week. If I feel that I can do the race after resting my knees..he said to go for it. He also felt that an X-ray or an MRI would be a waste of time. This made me feel good. After the doctor's visit, I talked to the team leader today and she stated that I am already in shape enough to complete the full marathon. To be in marathon shape, you should be able to complete 16 miles. I have already completed 16 miles so. I'll rest and finish that thing. I have to change my mindset though. I have to know without a doubt that I can cross the finish line.
For the past two days, I have had wild emotions, but I didn't turn to food. I cried about my knees and wrote about it in my diary and prayed. This helped a lot.
Pray about everything...Worry about nothing...
I thought about changing to San Diego, but this race costs $2,900 instead of the $2,000 that I haven't even offically raised. I could just pay the money instead of trying to raise it, but I have been selfish enough. I do a lot for my health and my business and Fred wants this 72' television. So, I don't want to spend $1,000 extra dollars for San Diego.
I went to the doctor and he wrote an excuse so that if I can't run on the 24th, I can switch to another race. He checked my knees and stated that he feels that I have overuse injuries. He suggested rest and gave me a prescription for cortizone and naproxen. I don't know if I am up for taking a steroid, but this may help to speed up my recovery. He told me to check back with him in a week. If I feel that I can do the race after resting my knees..he said to go for it. He also felt that an X-ray or an MRI would be a waste of time. This made me feel good. After the doctor's visit, I talked to the team leader today and she stated that I am already in shape enough to complete the full marathon. To be in marathon shape, you should be able to complete 16 miles. I have already completed 16 miles so. I'll rest and finish that thing. I have to change my mindset though. I have to know without a doubt that I can cross the finish line.
For the past two days, I have had wild emotions, but I didn't turn to food. I cried about my knees and wrote about it in my diary and prayed. This helped a lot.
Pray about everything...Worry about nothing...
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
In Limbo....to run or not to run Saturday.
The WW meeting was great yesterday. The weekly reader was about preparing yourself to complete a 5k. I think this is an excellent thing for them to do. That is what kept me motivated on my exercise schedule. Having a goal or a race to finish is really motivational. I tell you looking forward to the Country Music Marathon has really kept me getting up every morning for the last year.
The leader actually asked me to help us to form a group. I would love to do this, I just don't have a lot of extra time right now...with my online classes and my son and my husband and my business, I really don't know if I would like to be in charge of that right now. I'll have to think about it.
Anyway...I am so in limbo about Saturday's run. I am really going to need to get my mind focused. I need a strong mind to complete 20 miles Saturday (as well as strong knees). I know that my knees are the reason why I am not so excited about Saturday. Should I rest them and wait till the race to run or should I attempt the 20 miles..and rest for next week and then run the race on the 26th. What should I do?
There is going to be a Sister's in Motion meeting. I would hate to miss that meeting and then go running and not finish the 20. I will be there at their next meeting on the 17th. I will look forward to joining another running group after TNT is complete.
Well, I'll write later tonight.
The leader actually asked me to help us to form a group. I would love to do this, I just don't have a lot of extra time right now...with my online classes and my son and my husband and my business, I really don't know if I would like to be in charge of that right now. I'll have to think about it.
Anyway...I am so in limbo about Saturday's run. I am really going to need to get my mind focused. I need a strong mind to complete 20 miles Saturday (as well as strong knees). I know that my knees are the reason why I am not so excited about Saturday. Should I rest them and wait till the race to run or should I attempt the 20 miles..and rest for next week and then run the race on the 26th. What should I do?
There is going to be a Sister's in Motion meeting. I would hate to miss that meeting and then go running and not finish the 20. I will be there at their next meeting on the 17th. I will look forward to joining another running group after TNT is complete.
Well, I'll write later tonight.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Easter and an Emotional Monday
Easter was great yesterday. The whole family got a chance to go to the early service. The message was about letting Jesus rise in Us. What a great message.After church we all went to IHOP for breakfast. Right after breakfast Fred had to go back to work. He really didn't want to but..duty calls. Lil Fred didn't get a chance to go Easter egg hunting, but he got a nice basket with a car and a Thomas the Tank Engine and Percy "Easter" train set.
Today was really, really, really tough, I saw my patients and got a few things done. I was reminded of the responsibilties I have as far as getting my finances in order and the need for an additional therapist and the fact that my knees still bothered me after a 1 mile walk and 3 mile bike ride at the gym. I rested them for over three days + ice + heat. I read on a website that if the injury is not serious three days rest plus R.I.C.E. should do it. I am still having trouble with my knees..that scares me. After all this work and progress and self-esteem building....will I be able to run the race??? It was all too much today. I ate like a pig today. So sad, the day before my weigh in, I pig out. All of the books, all of the positive quotes, all of the success and "pick me ups" couldn't help me today. The emotions were too strong. I ate and ate until my stomach was full. I felt as if I didn't care about anything today...food was my friend today. But my old friend showed its familiar two-faced side. The guilt and the shame followed my binge. Food got me again. It made me believe that it cared about me, but it didn't. It didn't even have a taste this time, it was just there.
God help me, please. I need you to help me see You in my situation. You know my goals and my dreams. You gave them to me. So I know that you will get me to where I need to be. I trust you now. Not food. Food is deceptive. It is temporary. I thought it would help me hide like it did so many times in the past. It was only temporary. But You are real and eternal. I forgive myself for today and look for a great day tomorrow. Although, my emotions won the battle today, they won't win the war. I will complete this marathon. My knees will be strong. My business will continue to grow and be successful. I will reach and maintain my goal weight. I will find the nessessary employees that I need to balance my caseload. I will balance my time for home and my business and for myself. I can do it. Good Night.
Today was really, really, really tough, I saw my patients and got a few things done. I was reminded of the responsibilties I have as far as getting my finances in order and the need for an additional therapist and the fact that my knees still bothered me after a 1 mile walk and 3 mile bike ride at the gym. I rested them for over three days + ice + heat. I read on a website that if the injury is not serious three days rest plus R.I.C.E. should do it. I am still having trouble with my knees..that scares me. After all this work and progress and self-esteem building....will I be able to run the race??? It was all too much today. I ate like a pig today. So sad, the day before my weigh in, I pig out. All of the books, all of the positive quotes, all of the success and "pick me ups" couldn't help me today. The emotions were too strong. I ate and ate until my stomach was full. I felt as if I didn't care about anything today...food was my friend today. But my old friend showed its familiar two-faced side. The guilt and the shame followed my binge. Food got me again. It made me believe that it cared about me, but it didn't. It didn't even have a taste this time, it was just there.
God help me, please. I need you to help me see You in my situation. You know my goals and my dreams. You gave them to me. So I know that you will get me to where I need to be. I trust you now. Not food. Food is deceptive. It is temporary. I thought it would help me hide like it did so many times in the past. It was only temporary. But You are real and eternal. I forgive myself for today and look for a great day tomorrow. Although, my emotions won the battle today, they won't win the war. I will complete this marathon. My knees will be strong. My business will continue to grow and be successful. I will reach and maintain my goal weight. I will find the nessessary employees that I need to balance my caseload. I will balance my time for home and my business and for myself. I can do it. Good Night.
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November 2011