Saturday was so fun. We wrapped up bitty basketball at the Olive Branch YMCA. Bug received his completion trophy and he has been so confident in everything ever since he got it. He went through the garage with no problem and even asked to open it. He is not afraid to sleep in his own bed as long as he has his trophy with him. He has eaten all of his food. Man, I didn't realize a trophy could do so much for him in such a short amount of time. I signed him up for T-Ball in Horn Lake.
Nick is crawling now and saying "ma-ma" and "da-da". It appears to be meaningful. Especially when he uses "ma-ma". He doesn't have a name for Bug yet. He just yells at him when he wants his attention. He watches him like a hawk. He can't wait to start walking and playing with his big brother.
I took my dad to the airport yesterday.He is going to handle a little insurance business. I wish he would look for a place to live there. He wants out of Clarksdale and has for some time. I think it would be good for him.
I have decided to stop my insanity. Yes, I have been doing the same things, not making true changes and really truly waiting on different results. That, my dear World, is the definition of insanity. As a colleague revealed, I did not really want to let go because the struggle has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. YAY!, I think I have shrunk myself (plus the help of friends and family). This go round. EVERYTHING will be different. I have a renewed mind that continues to be renewed and I have the keys to permanent success and it has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the physical (at this point). If I had truly grasped what God was telling me about this in 2009 and 2010, I would not be back here in blubberville. MOTIVES! I know how to get there from where I am today, now, right now and never return. Feelings can't be the driving force. I lacked true understanding of this. I can't feel like I need to do the right thing. I have to just do it and keep doing it. I now realize that there will never be a time when I am not tempted to go back to my old habits and if I do I don't have to throw in the towel. The spirit of lust never gets enough. Just when you think, 'oh, I'll start again tomorrow" you end up in the same boat because whatever led you to give in today and yesterday will be there to make you give in tomorrow.
The woman that works in the office next to mine has done every weight loss program it is and had her stomach stapled in the 80s and is still two hundred pounds overweight. She never got rid of the addiction, just her weight. We have to walk in our freedom. When Jesus set us free, that gave us the power to resist, it didn't mean that we would not keep getting tempted. I guess we will be tempted with one thing or another till we "check outta here", but to remain in the same place for years under the same temptations, getting into and out of the same trouble doesn't make sense and shows a huge lack of progress.
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