Back on Track

Well, I have officially lost 21 pounds in two weeks. I should be right at the point where the fat and the baby fat separate. I have lost all of the fluid that was on my legs and feet. On Monday, I will record my weight and start from there. I have been developing my plan to get back to my goal weight and clothing size. I am really excited about the challenge. Monday, I am starting with my walking and organizing my menu. This time, I am really going to focus on having a healthy system. I want healthy blood and a healthy digestive tract. So, I really have to study what is good for me and  not just focus on what will keep me "small". So, I am ready to begin.

I must admit that this time there is a sense of freedom. I don't feel like I will fail as I have over the years of dealing with this eating disorder and self image disorder. I don't have the total numbing fear that I won't keep it off or that I am going to let myself and others down. That is probably the best feeling in the world. The year of 2009-2010, with the dedication to reading the Bible and seeking God's freedom set me free and even though I gained weight for Nicholas' birth and all that comes with bringing a life into the world, I never lost my freedom from the bondage that I had been in for the majority of my life. I have always felt that all of my problems will be over when I get to a certain size, people will like me or forgive me or maybe I will be more interesting once I get to size "?". I don't feel like that anymore. It feels good to be free from that feeling. I have accepted who I am.  I do not wish to fix the past or forget the past or expect things from those in my past. I focus on the future and my wonderful husband and our future and the future of my beautiful boys, the future of my business and future business ventures.

I learned a lot today about the digestive tract. If the digestive tract is on track then your whole body will be healthy. Basically, you are what you eat. How many times have we heard this in life. You are what you eat.