The Visit

This has been a very tough week. As I screened each child, I realized how delayed my Bug is. My son has not been the same since his sickness last year. I don't know if that was the actual cause or if it just help him over the edge, but he lost a lot of skills after that month of sickness...THAT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER. MIA....THE PAST IS OVER.

The visit to the developmental pediatrician was inconclusive. The doctor performed her background information questionnaire. She asked for us to tell our story of Bug (I finally listened to the story as I told it).She performed a screening that was obviously below his level (STAT) but still enough for me to see that he,....Oh my God is on the Spectrum. My son, my precious Bug is on the Autism Spectrum. The pediatrician is referring us to an Audiologist, Educational Psychologist, Allergist, and a Neurologist. She did not want to tell me, but I told her that if I didn't see it before I definitely see it today, "He is definitely on the Spectrum". She responded with, "There are some characteristics, especially the fact that you said he had skills and then lost them". She recommended that I start behavioral interventions such as ST, OT & PT. It was as if I left my body in the chair and I floated off. I couldn't feel anything. I had to keep asking her to repeat what she had said. Fred had a look...not of surprise...but just a look of victory. I will draw from his strength. I was shocked, but not shocked. I knew it, but didn't know it all at the same time. I was a professional that knew it all and I was an idiot at the same time. Nothing she (pediatrician)told me that I haven't said to many parents that I serve. I can't believe she is having to say these thing to me. There is definitely "something" she said. I knew what that "something" was. I have seen it a hundred thousand, gazillion times. I just didn't want to see it in my baby. Not my Bug. From Last year to this, I asked Bug's teachers, my friends, & my relatives..."Do you think something is a little different about Bug?" No they would say, you're just being a speech therapist, you are putting too much pressure on him. Because I wanted to be in denial, I took those answers from people who don't know a hill of beans about Autism. I took their answers as to why my son was "different".

Yesterday, was my day of initial shock. The tears, the pain, the anger....Today, I officially join the fight with millions of other professionals and now as a parents to understand, advocate and eliminate Autism Spectrum Disorders. Please bear with me. I don't know how long my state of shock will last. Just ride the emotional roller coaster with me. Thanks for listening world. I'll write more later.