I am so glad that I went to my WW meeting on Tuesday. YES, I gained weight, but I didn't let that discourage me. I went in the meeting with a positive attitude. The topic was "Making the most of your weekends". This is a big challenge for most of us. We want to "cut loose" as they say on the weekends, but that time makes up 1/3 of the year. The weekend is the time of great escape. We have worked all week, got up early, got prepared, got stressed out from our bosses...and yes..my boss is a monster (LOL!). So we were instructed to remain 'structured' during the weekends and continue to plan our meals and activities. One of the members suggested finding new ways to reward ourselves that don't center around food. That was a great reminder for me.
I am at the point in this journey that is very difficult. I am very close to being a healthy weight. I have become a little complacent..."I got this" I tell myself. I am not as strict as I have been previously and I have even learned how to "cheat". Yes! I said it! "Cheat". I now know how much of something I can pig out on and not gain weight or at least how not to let it show on the scale. Yes! This part of the road is more difficult that when you first get started. When you first start...you are excited, you do everything right, you don't want to get off track. Now, for me, today, I think I have it under control....yeah right! This weight thing is going to be one of my challenges. I have mentioned it before in previous posts. But it always hits me with the same power packed punch every time I think about it. I AM GOING TO BE MONITORING MY WEIGHT AND WATCHING WHAT I EAT AND MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES MOST OF THE TIME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!! I can't take a break. Really to be honest, I have to not eat junk. I can't do it. It seems soooo unfair. There are members in my WW class that can eat cookies and candy and chips. They are able to just eat "just enough". I can't do that. Just a little sets me off every time. Since my knee injury, I have given myself permission to eat a little more..you can have this 'cause you are sad about your knee and the world is so unfair and you have work so hard all of these month and look what happened... yadda,yadda, yadda! That is no excuse. There are tons of marathons and 1/2 marathons all across the country. If I don't finish this one, I can sign up for another. At least now I know what to do and what not to do. Like I have learned and posted previously. Emotions have to get out of the eating equation. This is very difficult to do especially in our society, but it can be done and I will do it and share my experience with others. Food is for fueling the body, not to babysit emotions. Emotions come and go. We have to learn to control them, not let them control us. I realize that this is my cross to bear. Actually, I am quite thankful for this cross. It's a heavy cross, but it could be something else that has a greater stigma. Obesity has its stigma, but not like other challenges. Even though they all (addictions and lifes challenges) come from the same root of shame, self hatred, and unforgiveness, in our society some have a greater stigma.
Anyway, I checked the weather for Nashville on Saturday. Looks like thunderstorms. The funny thing is, Friday is going to be nice. The following Sunday is going to be a nice day. BUT the day of the race they are predicting rain and thunderstorms....Huh! How can I find the positive in that....Here goes..It will make for a cool run. We won't over heat. My knee..well, I won't talk about my knee today. I have taken my knee out of this. It's about my mind, my will to run and compete.
I took the day off from work to focus on my presentation to the class at Ole Miss tonight. I have revamped my whole presentation at the last minute. This is a language disorders class and I was going to talk about identifying disorders and....blah! blah! blah! They hear that all the time. They are going to hear that when I leave. They are going to hear that stuff until they graduate. I have decided to talk about The SLP as a business owner. This is something that I wish someone had shared with me while I was in school. I hope that they will get a desire to become private practitioners or even independent contractors. SLPs have so many settings to choose from, but not much is said about private practice. I don't mind being the one to share it. Its challenging and lonely at times, but the AUTONOMY of practice is worth it.
I'll write tonight to let you know how the presentation went. Bye world.
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