Baby...Oh...Baby

Hello World,

I have taken 6 pregnancy test in the last 72 hours. I just can't wrap my mind around that fact that I am actually going to be a mother again. I have been feeling "different" for the last two weeks and even suffered nausea when I visited Nashville on the 27th of August. I am so excited, but a little concerned about how busy I am. This pregnancy will be different because I had an easy job with Bug. It wasn't stressful and I didn't have as much responsibility as I do now. I know that is can be done because I have a colleague in Memphis who has a private practice and had a baby since she has been in business....if she can do it, I can too.

I ran twice last week and walked and strength trained, but I have still stopped "dieting". This has lead me to eat a lot of things that I mentally considered forbidden. The weight gain has caused me to be ashamed and angry with myself. I have noted all of the feelings and they are so not true. If I weren't so embarrassed about some of the things I have told myself I would list them here. But the fight is to NOT believe these things. I am still the same person no matter what and at whatever size or stage I am in my life I deserve to be loved and respected by myself and others.

With it being Labor Day, I am off work, but I have to visit Jackson, MS tomorrow so I am not seeing kids. So, I have decided to go with what works. My menus. They kept me organized and it allowed me time to think about other things besides food. I truly hate to be bound by the menu, but this is what is going to help me get back on track at least for now.

I don't think that it will be wise to attempt St. Jude full at this time because of the dehydration factor and the fact that I have never run a full before. Maybe I would do it being pregnant if I had done one before. I am interested in the 1/2 marathon, but it is full.

So for the remainder of the year I have the Women's Run, SIM 5k, Race for the Cure and I have St. Jude (or not). I have a plan to run at least 6 miles 3 x a week for as long as I can during this pregnancy. We will see what the little sweetpea will let me do. I'm off to the store to buy my baby his or her first gift. This is what we did when we found out about Bug. So I am going to do the same for  this baby.

My book choice right now is: Runner's World Guide to Running and Pregnancy. I'll let you know if it is informative. My cousin is in the process of sending me Breaking Free and I am going to send her When Food is Love. We are both going to get on the waiting list to attend the Geneen Roth retreats some time next year...We are on our way to total freedom.