Slow, Slow, Slow and Stress, Stress, Stress

Slow moving; stressful day.

My day started out great with a 3.2 mile jog this morning and 27 minutes of lower body strength training. I ate well at the begining of the day and then...mr. stress knocked on the door of my life. I began to wonder:
Why do things move so slowly? I am all set to go and things are just creeping along. I am being as patient, my staff is being as patient as they can be but something has got to give. Do they need us like they say that they do? I am starting to wonder. Where are all the cases that they promised us? We completed all of the training. We met with the director. What else do we need to do before we get started. WE ARE READY!..That's my vent about work...but it carried over into...my healthy life.

 As my stress levels increase, my desire to binge eat arises. With the passing of my aunt, caseload issues at work and financial decisions that need to be made, I am stressed. I have been running and even doing an extra workout DVD, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I have been reading the 119th Psalm to calm down a little, but I have been so wired and worried that I haven't even been able to focus on my time with the Lord. I have been forgetting to pray (praying only after I have spent an hour worrying. I have it all backwards: Pray first!!! Pray first!!!) All I want is something fattening and sweet. The good thing is that I don't keep those foods around any more. So the only choice I have are Kashi cookies, fruit, and my son's oreos and his goldfish crackers...those don't seem to hit the spot usually. So I made a grilled cheese sandwich and I ate my son's oreos (I hope he won't be looking for them tomorrow after school). It was delicious. High in fat and calories. Just the "fix" I needed.. I'll run it off I think to myself, but this will eventually catch up with me and destroy the year and 1/2 of hard work that I have put forth to get in the shape that I am in today. I need to remember my stress relieving strategies before the stress hits. Any ideas on how to remember to do that once stress has struck a mighty blow? It seems like when the stress hits, I go into survival primative mode when it comes to seeking comfort in food. I become like a starving bear or wolf in the woods. It's an old battle that I have been fighting and winning, but I didn't win tonight...stress did.

Okay...off to ask God for forgiveness. I didn't trust Him today. I put my faith in man's abilities and man's timing. I let the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches destroy my crop (Mark 4). I have come to find that my worrying  and overeating today meant that I lost my focus on God and His promise to supply all of my needs. So please forgive me Lord for not trusting in you. Tomorrow is another day and another chance to trust you and your promises....Nighty-Night World.